Such a depressing night...

These are the two saddest things in the world: To know that someone can be happy without you, and to realize that people who've affected your life in tremendous ways have not been affected by you.

England

I think the thing that scares me most about going to England is not that I'll hate it, but that I'll love it.

The List, Updated

Updates to the List

Things Accomplished:
-Get my ears pierced
-Introduce A----- and A-----
-Give a shout out/dedicate a song on the radio
-Sneak into a graveyard early in the morning
-Finally watch Fight Club

Things Yet to Accomplish
-Spend a night in the library (I'm talking to the right people)
-Order out of the sunroof at a drive in
-Shoot America's Next Top Model
-Make a video of all my friends
-Write one more letter from Anderson
-Make Alicia her "sexual tension" CD
-Publish one last AU
-Submit Personal Universe
-Go out

The Big Update

I'll be leaving the cornfields on Indiana on May 8th, I think. I'll be out of the dorms for sure on May 7th. While I'm really excited, I'm also really sad. Whoever thought that I'd hate to leave Anderson? I'm going to miss everyone so much. It's not going to be like leaving high school at all.

But the exciting thing is that I'm leaving for ENGLAND on May 16th! I'll barely have a week home to get spend some time with my family and get everything ready for my trip. I'm going to England for 6 months to be an au pair, a sort of live-in nanny. I'm very excited and a little nervous. It's crazy how your life can change. I never thought I would be doing something like this. I was all set to spend the next year at home, working as a waitress or something, hanging out with some of my old NJ friends, and generally taking a break. It's insane, it's crazy, it's incredible. I'm going to be living with a Christian family in Emsworth, right on the southern coast on England. They have four kids, ages 2-8, and they're really involved with the youth group at their church. They seem like wonderful people, and I think I'll really get along with the kids. It's been such a crazy process, and it's not over yet. I've just applied for my visa, I have to buy my tickets to London, and I have to map out my way from the airport, to London to get my visa validated, to Emsworth. I'm getting to meet up with some of my friends from school in London for the day, though, and that'll be really cool. Overall, I'm super excited, and I'm going to try to make the most out of this amazing opportunity.

But I'm realizing more and more how much I'm going to miss Anderson. Ironically, I've made friends with a lot of graduating seniors recently, and it sucks to know that even if I come back to visit, they're not going to be here. And I'm not going to be able to come back for RUSH, which is going to be really awesome this year. I'm going to miss all my friends so much, and even though I'll have internet access and stuff and I'll send tons of postcards (let me know if you want one!), I know I'm not going to be able to keep in touch with all of them like I want to. I think the saddest thing about relationships is knowing that people can go on and be happy without you. I mean, I know that they're going to miss me too, but after a while, we'll all move on.

We've (and by we've I mean I've) decided that I'm the lame duck of Anderson University, like the way a president who's been voted out is a lame duck. Though, if we continue with this metaphor, it's like I'm going on to be queen of England.

Yeah, it's going to hurt leaving Anderson.

Words

The word "linguistic" always reminds me of the word "linguini." And then I get hungry.

A List

Here is a list of things I want to do before I leave Anderson (I need some help on some of them):

- Get my ears repierced
- Introduce A----- and A------
- Spend a night in the library
- Finally watch Fight Club
- Order at a drive thru from out of the sunroof
- Go out (with a boy, Kathryn, sorry)
- Shoot Anderson's Next Top Model with my girls
- Write one last letter
- Make a video of all my friends
- Give a shout out on the radio
- Submit Personal Universe to Amazing Journeys
- Sneak into the graveyard in the early morning
- Publish one last AU

Obviously, this list is not comprehensive, and if you know of any other fun things to do, let me know!

Hm

You know how they say that no two people have the same set of fingerprints? Well, what about identical twins?

Boo

There are way too many green shirts being worn today. It's like Where's Waldo?

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall

I'm getting more and more frustrated with the world's concept of beauty. I read on a friend of a friend's blog the other day about wishing for a day when her worth wasn't determined by a mirror and a scale. I started wondering if I ever really would have a day when those things didn't play a factor. We have fat days, bad hair days, breakout days, pretty days, drop dead gorgeous days, and that sets the whole mood of the day - which is fine when it's a good day. It gets worse when we start comparing ourselves to each other. The prettier person is obviously the better person. It'll never end; it's really awful. No matter how pretty I make myself, I never be the prettiest. Why do we put our worth in something that will always make us feel worthless?

I can see myself going on for a while; it's been bothering me recently. Unfortunately, I need to return to my papers. I'm running out of ways to procrastinate.

Photography

Ever since getting my new camera, I've been taking pictures like crazy. It's one of my favorite things to do to relax. Except for when the scary people in Anderson - all three of them - start hitting on you.

It's still my favorite. http://community.webshots.com/user/AmyRose86