Beholding your beauty is all I long for
To worship You Jesus with my soul's desire
For this very heart you've shaped for your pleasure
The purpose to lift your name high
Hear and surrender in pure adoration
I enter your courts with an offering of praise
I am Your servant come to bring you glory
As is fit for the work of your hands
Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honor and praise
All of creation resounds with the song
Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords
The spirit now living and dwelling within me
Keep my eyes fixed ever upon Jesus' face
Let not the things of this world ever sway me
I'll run 'till I finish the race
Singing unto the lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honor and praise
All of creation resounds with the song
Worship and praise the Lord
Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honor and praise
All of eternity echoes the song
Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords
Holy Lord
You are Holy
Jesus Christ is the Lord
Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honor and praise
Call all the saints to join in the song
Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords
Lord of Lords
Lord of Lords
Lord of Lords
- "Lord of Lords," by Hillsong United
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Saturday, April 05, 2008
15 Movie Quotes
Emily did this meme, and someone else too, I think. Nobody tagged me, but I'm doing this anyway. I tried not to repeat movies.
1. "You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big."
2. "I am no good at goodbyes."
3. "You and I are substitute people."
4. "Look at those bodacious ta-tas!"
5. "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. " (You need the whole thing. It's just too good.)
6. "This is true love - you think this happens every day?"
7. "Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama."
8. "My problem is that it's 2 A.M. My problem is I'm asleep. I'm on a tour bus with eight stinkin' men. Rule number one: Don't propose to a girl on a bus, you got that? Rule number two: Don't tell her it's because you had a bad dream."
9. "Before you came into my life I could make all kinds of decisions now I'm addicted I have to know what you think... What do you think?"
"I think your the most selfish human being on the planet."
"Well that's just silly. Have you met everybody on the planet?"
10. "You just had a near-life experience!"
11. "There he goes off to his room to write that hit song 'Alone in my principles.'"
12. "I don't like sand. It's rough and course... Not like you." (Ok, ok, that one's a joke! For real now)
12.5 "Oh, she ain't my wife, warden. I keep asking her, and she keeps saying no."
13. "There'll be no living with her after this."
14. "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
15. "Because it's a book about a man who doesn't know he's about to die. And then dies. But if a man does know he's about to die and dies anyway. Dies- dies willingly, knowing that he could stop it, then- I mean, isn't that the type of man who you want to keep alive?"
1. "You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big."
2. "I am no good at goodbyes."
3. "You and I are substitute people."
4. "Look at those bodacious ta-tas!"
5. "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. " (You need the whole thing. It's just too good.)
6. "This is true love - you think this happens every day?"
7. "Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama."
8. "My problem is that it's 2 A.M. My problem is I'm asleep. I'm on a tour bus with eight stinkin' men. Rule number one: Don't propose to a girl on a bus, you got that? Rule number two: Don't tell her it's because you had a bad dream."
9. "Before you came into my life I could make all kinds of decisions now I'm addicted I have to know what you think... What do you think?"
"I think your the most selfish human being on the planet."
"Well that's just silly. Have you met everybody on the planet?"
10. "You just had a near-life experience!"
11. "There he goes off to his room to write that hit song 'Alone in my principles.'"
12. "I don't like sand. It's rough and course... Not like you." (Ok, ok, that one's a joke! For real now)
12.5 "Oh, she ain't my wife, warden. I keep asking her, and she keeps saying no."
13. "There'll be no living with her after this."
14. "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
15. "Because it's a book about a man who doesn't know he's about to die. And then dies. But if a man does know he's about to die and dies anyway. Dies- dies willingly, knowing that he could stop it, then- I mean, isn't that the type of man who you want to keep alive?"
Thursday, April 03, 2008
I looked really chic in the coffee shop --
-- until I pulled my computer out of a plastic Old Navy bag. My friend once called me a rich hobo, because I carry my really nice computer around in a plastic bag. I swear, I'm going to go buy a proper carrying case tomorrow.
I wanted to post "Swallowed in the Sea" lyrics, but I just posted them in the past few months. So why don't you just go listen to that song for a couple of minutes and then come back?
In feminist film theory class today, we talked a lot about how the "happy ending" for women in films most often comes in the form of a stable heterosexual relationship, even for women who are portrayed as independent and anti-patriarchal. We used the example of Sex and the City, about how the entire show is supposedly about these four women with fabulous girl friendships, fabulous shoes, and fabulous independence from men. But at the end, they all end up in some sort of "satisfying" heterosexual relationship. It started to worry me at first, because, not being in a relationship right now and not having marriage on my list of immediate post-graduation plans like my best friends (I really am *so* excited for their weddings - they're almost too far away), I've had to think about my life plans in a slightly different way than I used to. I want to make sure that what I do after college is something that I'm passionate about, something that I feel is in God's will, something that makes a difference. Just because I'm not in a relationship doesn't mean that I need to feel like I'm missing anything - but I think many girls fall into the trap of thinking about their lives as what they do - until they get married. As if post-graduate life is a happy, eventful, but empty Act II until they finally meet Prince Charming, have their fairy tale wedding, and live in their happy ending.
So we're talking about this in class, and even though we talk quite a lot about how women are defined as "the other" in relation to men and how we're the dependent in this patriarchal society, for some reason today more than other days I was seized by this sudden fear that I would define my life by the waiting for and hopefully marriage to some amazing man (he will be amazing, just in case you were wondering). And my defensiveness kicked in - I don't want my life's happiness or importance or fulfillment to be defined by anyone, not a man especially, even he will be my husband. I don't want to feel like my pre-marriage years were any less fulfilled because of the lack of a man. And my independent nature started to question whether I want to be held back at all by any relationships, so as not to define a life well lived by the influence of anybody else -
And this is where something else kicked in. It isn't having a man, really, that makes life worth living - but it is the relationships. Yeah, they're scary and they mean being vulnerable and I can try to get defensive about needing them, but I do. I can't even imagine a life where I didn't have the close relationships I have now. One of the main reasons my life is so different than it was a year and a half ago is because of the openness and intimacy I've had with my friends. Everywhere I look and everything I've learned has reinforced that loving others is a secret key to life. More than my career. More than my comfort. More than my independence.
So yes, I do want my life to be defined by others. By their needs, by their love, by their friendships, by their lives.
Still, until that last love story is written, I'm not living any less.
Why are there strawberries on the Equal sweetner packs?
I wanted to post "Swallowed in the Sea" lyrics, but I just posted them in the past few months. So why don't you just go listen to that song for a couple of minutes and then come back?
In feminist film theory class today, we talked a lot about how the "happy ending" for women in films most often comes in the form of a stable heterosexual relationship, even for women who are portrayed as independent and anti-patriarchal. We used the example of Sex and the City, about how the entire show is supposedly about these four women with fabulous girl friendships, fabulous shoes, and fabulous independence from men. But at the end, they all end up in some sort of "satisfying" heterosexual relationship. It started to worry me at first, because, not being in a relationship right now and not having marriage on my list of immediate post-graduation plans like my best friends (I really am *so* excited for their weddings - they're almost too far away), I've had to think about my life plans in a slightly different way than I used to. I want to make sure that what I do after college is something that I'm passionate about, something that I feel is in God's will, something that makes a difference. Just because I'm not in a relationship doesn't mean that I need to feel like I'm missing anything - but I think many girls fall into the trap of thinking about their lives as what they do - until they get married. As if post-graduate life is a happy, eventful, but empty Act II until they finally meet Prince Charming, have their fairy tale wedding, and live in their happy ending.
So we're talking about this in class, and even though we talk quite a lot about how women are defined as "the other" in relation to men and how we're the dependent in this patriarchal society, for some reason today more than other days I was seized by this sudden fear that I would define my life by the waiting for and hopefully marriage to some amazing man (he will be amazing, just in case you were wondering). And my defensiveness kicked in - I don't want my life's happiness or importance or fulfillment to be defined by anyone, not a man especially, even he will be my husband. I don't want to feel like my pre-marriage years were any less fulfilled because of the lack of a man. And my independent nature started to question whether I want to be held back at all by any relationships, so as not to define a life well lived by the influence of anybody else -
And this is where something else kicked in. It isn't having a man, really, that makes life worth living - but it is the relationships. Yeah, they're scary and they mean being vulnerable and I can try to get defensive about needing them, but I do. I can't even imagine a life where I didn't have the close relationships I have now. One of the main reasons my life is so different than it was a year and a half ago is because of the openness and intimacy I've had with my friends. Everywhere I look and everything I've learned has reinforced that loving others is a secret key to life. More than my career. More than my comfort. More than my independence.
So yes, I do want my life to be defined by others. By their needs, by their love, by their friendships, by their lives.
Still, until that last love story is written, I'm not living any less.
Why are there strawberries on the Equal sweetner packs?
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
April Fool's Day!
I feel like the end of winter semester is so much longer than the end of fall semester. We've been "ending" ever since the week or so after Spring Break, I feel. I don't like it, or the massive amounts of work I've been dealing with. Therefore, I blog.
Script Frenzy started today. Whoops. I sorta know what I'm going to write about, though. I would have some time this weekend to write, but I'm shooting. I would have time next week to write, but my screenplay is due, I would have time next weekend to write, but the following week I have two 8 page papers and three exams. Maybe the weekend after that. Yes, maybe by the 18th I'll have started my screenplay for Script Frenzy.
One of my biggest pet peeves is knowing that I had things I wanted to blog about but forgetting what they were once I actually sit down to write.
I found out a couple of weeks ago that one of my friends might be moving out to LA after December graduation. That would be kinda fun, having someone I knew out there that will be familiar with the area.
I finally got my fourth main actor for "Join This Group?" committed. Of course, it means pushing up the shooting time on Sunday, like we had to on Friday as well. But hey, we've got the actor. Whew. I can't even hardly think about shooting because of all the academic stuff I have due this week. There's still a lot to do - hey, let's not even think about post yet, m'kay? I was going to have a whole week after exams finished to sit around campus and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was going to write and watch movies and edit. But I thought over things more practically and realized that it would be better if I worked that week instead of during exams. So now my post exam week will be all about working, watching movies, and editing. I will probably get too lazy to write.
I took a nap this afternoon and woke up with a crease that ran from above my eyebrow to the corner of my lip. I had class in ten minutes. I did not manage to get the crease to go completely away.
I'm reading the screenplay of Garden State right now (it's like research and learning... but also relaxation!). I love this movie. Lost it. The more I watch it and read it and study it, I just fall in love. Brilliance. If you disagree with me, I pretty much will dismiss you - as a person.
Sometimes I want the old studio system back. You know, when talent would contract with a studio for a length of time, not for individual projects. Maybe it's the sense of stability that appeals to me. Really, I think I just like the collaborative nature of that system, always working with the same people. I would love to have that here on campus, a group of film students who all work together and are committed to each other's projects. There's a loose sense of that. We'll openly call for help with productions. And I'm lucky enough to be close enough friends with a couple of other film students that we can shoot a 6 minutes short on the weekend no problem. But what I really want, what I really think would be cool, would be to have a group of 8ish students who are all committed - no washing out - to a project that spans a semester or even a year. A group of people who've caught a vision together. And the pursuit of that vision is not a chore or a job or work. It's a desire.
I'm not a very practical person, though. I'm the one who'll come up with the big idea, get really excited, and may eventually lose momentum, especially if I'm on my own. I'm not always that good at sharing my big ideas either. But maybe, maybe we'll try with this. We'll see.
So much babbling. I wonder sometimes how you put up with it all.
Overheard in a Screening (Christopher Strong):
"Courage conquers death."
"But not love."
Script Frenzy started today. Whoops. I sorta know what I'm going to write about, though. I would have some time this weekend to write, but I'm shooting. I would have time next week to write, but my screenplay is due, I would have time next weekend to write, but the following week I have two 8 page papers and three exams. Maybe the weekend after that. Yes, maybe by the 18th I'll have started my screenplay for Script Frenzy.
One of my biggest pet peeves is knowing that I had things I wanted to blog about but forgetting what they were once I actually sit down to write.
I found out a couple of weeks ago that one of my friends might be moving out to LA after December graduation. That would be kinda fun, having someone I knew out there that will be familiar with the area.
I finally got my fourth main actor for "Join This Group?" committed. Of course, it means pushing up the shooting time on Sunday, like we had to on Friday as well. But hey, we've got the actor. Whew. I can't even hardly think about shooting because of all the academic stuff I have due this week. There's still a lot to do - hey, let's not even think about post yet, m'kay? I was going to have a whole week after exams finished to sit around campus and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was going to write and watch movies and edit. But I thought over things more practically and realized that it would be better if I worked that week instead of during exams. So now my post exam week will be all about working, watching movies, and editing. I will probably get too lazy to write.
I took a nap this afternoon and woke up with a crease that ran from above my eyebrow to the corner of my lip. I had class in ten minutes. I did not manage to get the crease to go completely away.
I'm reading the screenplay of Garden State right now (it's like research and learning... but also relaxation!). I love this movie. Lost it. The more I watch it and read it and study it, I just fall in love. Brilliance. If you disagree with me, I pretty much will dismiss you - as a person.
Sometimes I want the old studio system back. You know, when talent would contract with a studio for a length of time, not for individual projects. Maybe it's the sense of stability that appeals to me. Really, I think I just like the collaborative nature of that system, always working with the same people. I would love to have that here on campus, a group of film students who all work together and are committed to each other's projects. There's a loose sense of that. We'll openly call for help with productions. And I'm lucky enough to be close enough friends with a couple of other film students that we can shoot a 6 minutes short on the weekend no problem. But what I really want, what I really think would be cool, would be to have a group of 8ish students who are all committed - no washing out - to a project that spans a semester or even a year. A group of people who've caught a vision together. And the pursuit of that vision is not a chore or a job or work. It's a desire.
I'm not a very practical person, though. I'm the one who'll come up with the big idea, get really excited, and may eventually lose momentum, especially if I'm on my own. I'm not always that good at sharing my big ideas either. But maybe, maybe we'll try with this. We'll see.
So much babbling. I wonder sometimes how you put up with it all.
Overheard in a Screening (Christopher Strong):
"Courage conquers death."
"But not love."
Monday, March 31, 2008
Ad absurdum
I realized the other day that my posts had gotten deeply personal and a little sentimental. Ew. Let's get back to real business.
School is getting irritating. I'm so far beyond this semester and the drama it's caused. But really --
We turned in our Act IIbs in screenwriting class this week (20 pages in one day, baby). We workshopped mine, and I got reamed a little bit about de-conflicting my Act II turning point. I would agree that something was not quite right, but I'm not sure that it's what everyone was telling me. I have a tendency to want to drain scenes of their overt conflict - especially if it's not relational conflict. In my screenplay there's the real story about relationships and the conflict there, and then there's the subplot about legal proceedings and such. So for every turning point/midpoint in Current Draft, I have scenes for the relational/emotional plot and the "physical" subplot. The "physical" subplot is really only there to create momentum for the plot points and make them easier to distinguish, so really those are the only times it shows up. So for my Act II turning point I have an emotional/relational turning point and a "physical" subplot turning point. Because the latter is less important, I drained it of its conflict. And that's where I took the fall. It's definitely something I'm going to want to think about. I agree with my classmates that there's a lot of potential in those scenes - but that's not where the story is, so I'm not sure how much importance I want to give those scenes.
I feel sometimes like the story in Current Draft is growing beyond my control, like a puddle of water.
In a week and a half we'll turn in the completed screenplay. So far I like Current Draft, much better than my last two, which is good, because I pretty much went to my professor early on in the semester and said, "I've sucked at the last two screenplays - if I don't do well with this one I'm going to radically rethink my decision to be a screenwriter." I feel like I'm back in the game, though.
I shoot my mockumentary short, "Join This Group?" this weekend. I'm stressed. We only have two crew members for our first shoot (including me), the one that I got the professor that I'm in awe of to act in. First shoot, only two people, and I'm going to blubber around her anyway. Oh no, I can already feel my brain start to fog up and my throat getting sticky. I'm still looking for a fourth actor to shoot on Sunday. I think I would already have one, but it's taking a while for people to get back to me with their answer. Otherwise, I think it's going to be a lot of fun, not too stressful, and I'm excited for both the process and the finished project.
I mentioned earlier that I wanted to write a series of websoides this summer. I've got another idea for a series of websoides, but it would require tricking a whole lot more people into being involved.
April is going to be crazy. No, really. Besides school finishing (two 8-10 page papers and three finals, with a few presentations, quizzes and short papers thrown in for extra spice), I'm shooting and editing this short, doing Script Frenzy, and hopefully pulling Current Draft through a full edit in time for the Nicholl. The only way this is remotely plausible to think about is because of the fact that after April 18th I will have no obligations whatsoever to anything. Nothing. No more school obligations, no more church obligations. Pure, clear freedom. It's like a shining moment I look forward to. I wish you guys could see my Google calender to compare the next few weeks in all their multi colored jam-packed glory to the complete emptiness of the week after April 18th.
Google calender went out for like 5 hours on Friday and I almost had a meltdown. No joke, there were noticeable panic feelings.
Anyone writing anything for Script Frenzy? I'm trying to decide if I want to write something that's been percolating for a while or go with something completely different. I have an idea about Sierra Leone that I really like, a very plot-based, socially concerned piece. Or I have the vaguest idea for a more anti-structure, romantic piece that will explore some questions I'm thinking about right now. Any suggestions? What are you writing?
School is getting irritating. I'm so far beyond this semester and the drama it's caused. But really --
We turned in our Act IIbs in screenwriting class this week (20 pages in one day, baby). We workshopped mine, and I got reamed a little bit about de-conflicting my Act II turning point. I would agree that something was not quite right, but I'm not sure that it's what everyone was telling me. I have a tendency to want to drain scenes of their overt conflict - especially if it's not relational conflict. In my screenplay there's the real story about relationships and the conflict there, and then there's the subplot about legal proceedings and such. So for every turning point/midpoint in Current Draft, I have scenes for the relational/emotional plot and the "physical" subplot. The "physical" subplot is really only there to create momentum for the plot points and make them easier to distinguish, so really those are the only times it shows up. So for my Act II turning point I have an emotional/relational turning point and a "physical" subplot turning point. Because the latter is less important, I drained it of its conflict. And that's where I took the fall. It's definitely something I'm going to want to think about. I agree with my classmates that there's a lot of potential in those scenes - but that's not where the story is, so I'm not sure how much importance I want to give those scenes.
I feel sometimes like the story in Current Draft is growing beyond my control, like a puddle of water.
In a week and a half we'll turn in the completed screenplay. So far I like Current Draft, much better than my last two, which is good, because I pretty much went to my professor early on in the semester and said, "I've sucked at the last two screenplays - if I don't do well with this one I'm going to radically rethink my decision to be a screenwriter." I feel like I'm back in the game, though.
I shoot my mockumentary short, "Join This Group?" this weekend. I'm stressed. We only have two crew members for our first shoot (including me), the one that I got the professor that I'm in awe of to act in. First shoot, only two people, and I'm going to blubber around her anyway. Oh no, I can already feel my brain start to fog up and my throat getting sticky. I'm still looking for a fourth actor to shoot on Sunday. I think I would already have one, but it's taking a while for people to get back to me with their answer. Otherwise, I think it's going to be a lot of fun, not too stressful, and I'm excited for both the process and the finished project.
I mentioned earlier that I wanted to write a series of websoides this summer. I've got another idea for a series of websoides, but it would require tricking a whole lot more people into being involved.
April is going to be crazy. No, really. Besides school finishing (two 8-10 page papers and three finals, with a few presentations, quizzes and short papers thrown in for extra spice), I'm shooting and editing this short, doing Script Frenzy, and hopefully pulling Current Draft through a full edit in time for the Nicholl. The only way this is remotely plausible to think about is because of the fact that after April 18th I will have no obligations whatsoever to anything. Nothing. No more school obligations, no more church obligations. Pure, clear freedom. It's like a shining moment I look forward to. I wish you guys could see my Google calender to compare the next few weeks in all their multi colored jam-packed glory to the complete emptiness of the week after April 18th.
Google calender went out for like 5 hours on Friday and I almost had a meltdown. No joke, there were noticeable panic feelings.
Anyone writing anything for Script Frenzy? I'm trying to decide if I want to write something that's been percolating for a while or go with something completely different. I have an idea about Sierra Leone that I really like, a very plot-based, socially concerned piece. Or I have the vaguest idea for a more anti-structure, romantic piece that will explore some questions I'm thinking about right now. Any suggestions? What are you writing?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Get your giggles out now.
So there's this guy.
"I don't want to be cheesy, you know," was what I told a friend last night. But we have this joke, one we picked up on a leadership conference, when our team leader was talking about how nobody ever says, "Geez, it's so easy to get lost in his dreamy character." Well, now those words are spoken a little more often and not always in joke. And one thing that I appreciate, you know, without getting too cheesy, is that this guy, he really thinks about life. I don't believe enough people really contemplate life. He knows what he's doing and why he's doing it and how his past affects him and what he believes and how what he does affects others and what the most important decisions you're going to make in life are and how you're going to make them. I don't know, I just don't see that too often with people. I mean, we spend all our time doing stuff and living, but how often do we really contemplate life? I'm not going to go all Socratic on you and say an unexamined life isn't worth living. That's a little cynical, buddy. But I think too often we're encouraged to turn our brains off and disengage our critical thinking once we've left the classroom (if it was ever on in there even). We've got one shot at this; isn't it best that we pay attention? It's a mark of maturity that gets lost in the legal drinking age and right to vote, the difference between when society tells us we're adults and when we make ourselves such.
Oh, and it's not just his character, don't worry. He's got one breath-catching smile.
But I don't want to be cheesy.
"I don't want to be cheesy, you know," was what I told a friend last night. But we have this joke, one we picked up on a leadership conference, when our team leader was talking about how nobody ever says, "Geez, it's so easy to get lost in his dreamy character." Well, now those words are spoken a little more often and not always in joke. And one thing that I appreciate, you know, without getting too cheesy, is that this guy, he really thinks about life. I don't believe enough people really contemplate life. He knows what he's doing and why he's doing it and how his past affects him and what he believes and how what he does affects others and what the most important decisions you're going to make in life are and how you're going to make them. I don't know, I just don't see that too often with people. I mean, we spend all our time doing stuff and living, but how often do we really contemplate life? I'm not going to go all Socratic on you and say an unexamined life isn't worth living. That's a little cynical, buddy. But I think too often we're encouraged to turn our brains off and disengage our critical thinking once we've left the classroom (if it was ever on in there even). We've got one shot at this; isn't it best that we pay attention? It's a mark of maturity that gets lost in the legal drinking age and right to vote, the difference between when society tells us we're adults and when we make ourselves such.
Oh, and it's not just his character, don't worry. He's got one breath-catching smile.
But I don't want to be cheesy.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
It was a clue.
Our GSIs are out striking today and tomorrow. Apparently, the undergrads are supposed to support them by not going to class. I don't see how this is a great option for me, so I go to class anyway. I am afraid of getting eaten.
One of my friends asked me if I'd be interested in talking to a reporter about the strike, to which I responded with a definite no. Hey, I can recognize when I'm uneducated about something. I am sympathetic towards strikers in general, but I do think each one should be evaluated on the unique situation. I think, though, the recent writers' strike makes me feel a little guilty when I skirt around the picket circles to enter buildings through another door.
On the up side, it means that three of my four classes tomorrow are canceled, so all I have is screenwriting at 6. And the last half of our second acts are due, so you know I'll probably be pulling another, albeit smaller, sprint.
Speaking of screenwriting, I met with my professor yesterday. He said very nice things about my writing which caused me to immediately call my mother to brag and reassure her that I would not be starving on the streets of LA when I graduate.
LA. Scary as all heck sometimes, but I'm getting more and more excited about it. Or maybe it's just the fact that we got 6 inches of snow the second day of spring and it still hasn't all melted.
Does anyone else revert to middle school flirting tactics sometimes? Maybe it's just me... My two favourites: stealing things/planning pranks and avoidance. I mean, I'm sure guys love it when you tease them incessantly - or just plain out avoid them. That's effective too. : )
I went to take a nap this afternoon, just an hour or two. I woke up four hours later. It was pretty sad. And in my dream, I was murdered. It was freaky and I thought it was real.
I swear I had something real to say in this post. Wish I could remember what.
Watching Garden State. I looove this movie. "Hey guys, don't stay in here all day. I took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector - it was beeping all night."
One of my friends asked me if I'd be interested in talking to a reporter about the strike, to which I responded with a definite no. Hey, I can recognize when I'm uneducated about something. I am sympathetic towards strikers in general, but I do think each one should be evaluated on the unique situation. I think, though, the recent writers' strike makes me feel a little guilty when I skirt around the picket circles to enter buildings through another door.
On the up side, it means that three of my four classes tomorrow are canceled, so all I have is screenwriting at 6. And the last half of our second acts are due, so you know I'll probably be pulling another, albeit smaller, sprint.
Speaking of screenwriting, I met with my professor yesterday. He said very nice things about my writing which caused me to immediately call my mother to brag and reassure her that I would not be starving on the streets of LA when I graduate.
LA. Scary as all heck sometimes, but I'm getting more and more excited about it. Or maybe it's just the fact that we got 6 inches of snow the second day of spring and it still hasn't all melted.
Does anyone else revert to middle school flirting tactics sometimes? Maybe it's just me... My two favourites: stealing things/planning pranks and avoidance. I mean, I'm sure guys love it when you tease them incessantly - or just plain out avoid them. That's effective too. : )
I went to take a nap this afternoon, just an hour or two. I woke up four hours later. It was pretty sad. And in my dream, I was murdered. It was freaky and I thought it was real.
I swear I had something real to say in this post. Wish I could remember what.
Watching Garden State. I looove this movie. "Hey guys, don't stay in here all day. I took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector - it was beeping all night."
Monday, March 24, 2008
Back two songs, skip a track
Been up all night staring at you
wondering what's on your mind
i've been this way with so many before
but this feels like the first time
you want the sunrise to go back to bed
i want to make you laugh
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers i'm waiting
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
happy to lay here
just happy to lbe here
i'm happy to know you
play me a song
your newest one
please leave your taste on my tongue
paperweight on my back
cover me like a blanket
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers i'm waiting
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and no need to worry
that's wastin time
and no need to wonder
what's been on my mind
it's you
it's you
it's you
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and i give up
i let you win
you win cause i'm not counting
you made it back
to sleep again
wonder what you're dreaming
- "paperweight" by joshua radin featuring Schuyler Fisk
wondering what's on your mind
i've been this way with so many before
but this feels like the first time
you want the sunrise to go back to bed
i want to make you laugh
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers i'm waiting
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
happy to lay here
just happy to lbe here
i'm happy to know you
play me a song
your newest one
please leave your taste on my tongue
paperweight on my back
cover me like a blanket
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers i'm waiting
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and no need to worry
that's wastin time
and no need to wonder
what's been on my mind
it's you
it's you
it's you
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and i give up
i let you win
you win cause i'm not counting
you made it back
to sleep again
wonder what you're dreaming
- "paperweight" by joshua radin featuring Schuyler Fisk
Saturday, March 22, 2008
8 inches of snow and then 40 degree sunshiney weather results in flash flood conditions
Movies I need to buy: Moulin Rouge and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Money I have available for buying movies: $0.37. No,but really, I was thinking about how I'm going to have to go hardcore on budgeting next year with living in a house and going to school part time and paying for most of my monthly expenses by the month instead of a huge chunk in the beginning of the semester, and it's going to take a little tricky planning. That's ok, though, because getting better at keeping track of my finances was one of the things on my 1001 list (which needs revising, I've decided...).
I'm terrible at storyboarding. I've figured that out - well, today. I think I always knew that my inability to draw and mentally visualize proportions curtailed my storyboarding skills, but today it became quite evident. I thought about putting the storyboards for each production up on the Lives Agape website, but I don't want to embarrass myself *too* much.
We turned in Act IIa for our screenplays last week (yes, the marathon writing that I did). My professor emailed me back saying that it was coming along very nicely and that he didn't have any major notes. Which is great and all, but I'm going in to office hours next week and demanding that he give me deep, critical notes. And I'm also going to ask him to read my other screenplay that I like and give deep, critical notes. It may be time to rake it through another draft. And I'm thinking about sending Current Draft to the Nicholl this year, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to wring a second draft out of it before that. I should have enough time, because the last half of April will be post school empty, meaningless days.
And Script Frenzy starts in April. Screw.
I think I've reached my teenage years as a writer. All those axioms and heart mantras seem, well, a little constraining. I mean, does a story really need 20+ rewrites to be great? Italian neorealism films hardly had a bloody script (granted, I also hate Italian Neorealism, but that's counterproductive to my point). And I feel that that structure is a little irrelevant as long as you have a good story. It's really marvelous, though, because there were two incidents that happened recently that I found amusing with my whole rebellious writer phase:
1. Mystery Man on Film wrote this post about "the storytelling debate," an obvious rip on McKee (at least I hope it is, because that's what I interpreted it as, and I just called it obvious). Rules can be great, sure, but some of the most beautiful pieces come when a person breaks the rules. I think we call them visionaries, no? There's just a bit of snarky rebellion in MM's post that I feel I can snicker with.
2. I got to explain act structure to one of my friends. I think I was referring to my 26-page marathon and realized the phrase "Act IIa" might not mean anything to him. So I broke it down, explained what happened in each one and how the plot points worked, and how long each one took, roughly. His response was along the lines, "You guys really think about all that stuff?" Not four days later, I got to refer to act structure with another friend who was equal unawares. Clearly, act structure is very important. It's a natural rhythm for storytelling. And I'm sure if the act structure in a movie was completely off and we sat my two friends down in front of it, they would realize at least that *something* was wrong.
I'm not sure what it is. I don't think I've written enough screenplays to feel bored with the traditional rules yet. I don't think I've "mastered" traditional forms yet. I think I just start feeling restless when I look at the rich history of storytelling and think about all the stories to be told because all the rules are just as insistent. Maybe we need a different approach. Maybe writers need a chance to experiment with their own voice before being confronted with the traditional rules. I know, I know, they've been tested, they've been tried, and rules that create structure free some part of your creativity or something. Maybe that's true. Maybe I'm being lazy. Maybe I'm being a rebellious writer in her "teenage" years.
But maybe it's time to try something else.
I'm terrible at storyboarding. I've figured that out - well, today. I think I always knew that my inability to draw and mentally visualize proportions curtailed my storyboarding skills, but today it became quite evident. I thought about putting the storyboards for each production up on the Lives Agape website, but I don't want to embarrass myself *too* much.
We turned in Act IIa for our screenplays last week (yes, the marathon writing that I did). My professor emailed me back saying that it was coming along very nicely and that he didn't have any major notes. Which is great and all, but I'm going in to office hours next week and demanding that he give me deep, critical notes. And I'm also going to ask him to read my other screenplay that I like and give deep, critical notes. It may be time to rake it through another draft. And I'm thinking about sending Current Draft to the Nicholl this year, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to wring a second draft out of it before that. I should have enough time, because the last half of April will be post school empty, meaningless days.
And Script Frenzy starts in April. Screw.
I think I've reached my teenage years as a writer. All those axioms and heart mantras seem, well, a little constraining. I mean, does a story really need 20+ rewrites to be great? Italian neorealism films hardly had a bloody script (granted, I also hate Italian Neorealism, but that's counterproductive to my point). And I feel that that structure is a little irrelevant as long as you have a good story. It's really marvelous, though, because there were two incidents that happened recently that I found amusing with my whole rebellious writer phase:
1. Mystery Man on Film wrote this post about "the storytelling debate," an obvious rip on McKee (at least I hope it is, because that's what I interpreted it as, and I just called it obvious). Rules can be great, sure, but some of the most beautiful pieces come when a person breaks the rules. I think we call them visionaries, no? There's just a bit of snarky rebellion in MM's post that I feel I can snicker with.
2. I got to explain act structure to one of my friends. I think I was referring to my 26-page marathon and realized the phrase "Act IIa" might not mean anything to him. So I broke it down, explained what happened in each one and how the plot points worked, and how long each one took, roughly. His response was along the lines, "You guys really think about all that stuff?" Not four days later, I got to refer to act structure with another friend who was equal unawares. Clearly, act structure is very important. It's a natural rhythm for storytelling. And I'm sure if the act structure in a movie was completely off and we sat my two friends down in front of it, they would realize at least that *something* was wrong.
I'm not sure what it is. I don't think I've written enough screenplays to feel bored with the traditional rules yet. I don't think I've "mastered" traditional forms yet. I think I just start feeling restless when I look at the rich history of storytelling and think about all the stories to be told because all the rules are just as insistent. Maybe we need a different approach. Maybe writers need a chance to experiment with their own voice before being confronted with the traditional rules. I know, I know, they've been tested, they've been tried, and rules that create structure free some part of your creativity or something. Maybe that's true. Maybe I'm being lazy. Maybe I'm being a rebellious writer in her "teenage" years.
But maybe it's time to try something else.
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