My (Not so Subtle) Grand Plan

First of all, my grand plan will exclude buses as a form of public transportation. Buses will be outlawed to be replaced by transporters.

Second of all, you have to have a sense of humor to read this. Otherwise, we can't be friends.

Just kidding! That was my first joke. Why am I *not* a comedy TV writer?

Last night I went into the City for a University of Michigan Entertainment Coalition (UMEC, thank goodness) writers' group. It was very nice, and I look forward to getting more involved. There were five of us there, two actors, an editor, and a freelance writer. And the elementary aide. None of us brought work to read and discuss, so we talked a lot about our ideas. We talked a lot about mine first.

Let me just say something. I love Keys, but it is probably the most blatantly Christian thing I will ever right.

Until I get the rights to remake The Robe.

Everyone has an agenda when they write. Everyone has an agenda when they do... anything, really. I was going to slip the Gospel into movies while passing out free Koolaid with the popcorn. And Keys... well, Keys really lays it out there. No sort of ambiguous talk about forgiveness or redemption or unconditional love. I mean, it's about the Garden of Eden and the Tree of Life. And how we're all sinners. You know, grade school theology.

And for some reason, some how, maybe they were just all very polite, or maybe they never read the pages (which I understand and did reciprocate. It was senior year, guys.), no one really called me on it during the master class I wrote it in. Prof J would enter his two cents, and sometimes there would be light hearted jokes about it (light hearted jokes about religion, any religion, are the BEST. They just make me feel like everyone's more comfortable and cool with people and their faiths. That could just be part of my neurosis.), but I never felt so acutely aware of the analogy that is Keys.

The UMEC group was though. As I described my story more and more (btw, have I ever mentioned how much I HATE summarizing? And how I really need to work on my pitch skills?), it got trickier and trickier to explain the plot without sounding like the next Left Behind novelist. I mean, I could have just said, "Aw, listen, why are we bothering with all this middle-man movie making business anyway? Let's just cut to the chase --"

Being an already awkward person, I was getting more and more uncomfortable as I tried to straddle this line of being honest and not sounding like a crazy person (that has a whole 'nother spiritual dilemma that I will spare you). I felt very clumsy. I didn't want anyone to dismiss me out of hand for anything I said. That's why I was so appreciative when Cool Freelance Writer Girl helped me out.

Cool Freeland Writer Girl: So wait a minute. Are you trying to do what Gospel music did, when they went from singing all hymns and stuff to the cool music Kirk Franklin and other singers did?

Me (dancing on the table): Yes! COOL!

Ok, I didn't really shout like that, but I definitely felt a lot better. It was a weird interaction because I don't know anything about her, about what she believes or anything. She might hate Gospel music and Kirk Franklin. She might think I'm completely crazy. But I do think she knows that I'm not going to attack her with a pamphlet and a WWJD bracelet.

I haven't really thought a lot about what it's going to mean to be a Christian in this industry. I think I'll be in the minority. I think I sorta had a laissez faire attitude about it before and that it might be more difficult than I originally counted on. But the Gospel is about unconditional love and forgiveness and reconciliation with God. And stories that are filled with love and forgiveness and peace -- well, you can say what you want, but I think I'm going to keep writing them anyway.

Patrick Dempsey cast in Transformers III

'Dempsey told reporters in Brazil this week that it's a 'dark character.'"

Seriously? Now they're just making a farce.

Flaming Lawnmowers and Hippies

This past weekend I went to Burlington, Vermont, with some friends. It was a blast. Weekend road trips are going to make a come back, I'm telling you.

Downtown Burlington. NOT "Birmingham," like I had been telling people.

The friends I went with asked me a fair amount of questions about screenwriting, which I really appreciated. I kinda happen to think that I do something interesting, but conversations usually go like this --

Rando: So you're an aide. Do you want to be a teacher?

Me: No, actually, I want to be a screenwriter.

Rando: Oh. (pause) So do you like working where you are?

I mean, how often do you meet educators? (Let me tell you, surprisingly often. My Bible study is mostly made up of educators or prospective educators. It was not planned.) How often do you meet someone who's trying to break into the movie business? I'm just saying, if I had just met me and was making small talk with myself, I'd ask myself about the writing business not the education business.

Ben & Jerry's factory. AKA the most delightful place on earth, right before Hershey, PA.

Anyway, the friends I went with were awesome sports because I kept taking out a notepad and taking notes. It's something new I'm trying to 1. help me get ideas and 2. improve my comedic writing. Of course, I decided to start this experiment the weekend I go away with friends. Some might find it creepy that I giggle to myself as I scribble furiously in illegible cursive on the hotel notepad, but my friends were awesome. They'd ask about what I was writing down and even suggest things they thought were funny.


Talking about writing with friends always makes me feel awkward. I feel simultaneously arrogant and embarrassed. I mean, it's pretty bold to go around talking about how you're going to write movies one day. And I think the chagrin comes from the underlying acknowledgment we all must (or should) have that this is a complete long shot. On the other hand, it's so important to me to have people I can talk to about what I love to do. And the ideal is that not only will I be able to have friends that I can talk to about writing but ones that will support me and take it seriously. So important that it's on the short list of qualities I want in a guy (right after "must look good in uniform" and before "preferably from Ireland or Britain").

The Flavor Graveyard at Ben and Jerry's, showing love to my British side.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out a story that harmonizes the Jersey Mafia and a trendy Montclair cupcake cafe.

Goodbye, East Coast mountains...

Call me a quitter, sticks and stones

This picture represents my life the past week - drafting Keys to the Garden and working on my cake decorating class. The cake is my final project for the course. The screenplay is a stack of papers I'd like to burn.

Just kidding.

I decided early this morning that I wasn't going to kill myself over the Nicholl. It's difficult to feel motivated when you wake up feeling like someone woke you up by punching you. All over your body.

Ok, I'm a little disappointed about not being able to finish in time but not much. (1) I'm leaving for a weekend roadtrip tomorrow. So that bumps up the midnight Saturday deadline to early Friday morning. Precious precious hours. (2) I'm finding more problems as I write. Namely that I seem to keep running into the same action sequence. I made some good changes, but it's still going to take some elbow grease to get the new changes ironed out. (3) I never thought I had a shot of winning. I wanted to use this year just to see if I could make it past the first cut. (4) I advanced my draft 35 pages this week alone. From Sunday through Thursday. I'm going to throw out most of the three pages I wrote today, but still I'm happy with the extra shot of motivation.

Here's to keeping it up for the other upcoming competitions.

Unlikely to finish

Though I made great progress today. 11 pages. Lots of new material.

Also, I'm retitling it. No longer "Guardians" or "Keys to the Garden" or anything like that. Now I'm going to call it "Even Angels Swear."

Progress Report

Sunday, I wrote fifteen pages.

Fifteen.

Sometimes, being a binge writer is rewarding. Most of the time it's just frustrating and self-deprecating. But sometimes rewarding.

Yesterday I wrote five. I had modest intentions for yesterday anyway because I had about an hour and a half to write instead of all day and it was all new material. Page thirty-five.

The deadline's Saturday. I'm out of town this weekend. Basically I have to be completely done by Friday morning (notice I did not say Thursday night...). Odds are not in my favour. However, since I'm keeping most of the third act completely intact structurally, I'm crossing my fingers for a speedy finish.

Wednesday I have about zero time as well, so tonight's going to be clutch.

Sometimes

Sometimes life moves very quickly. For someone who lives at home and no friends, I've been incredibly busy the last couple weeks. Which is nice in most respects except (A) I wasn't sure I was going resist collapsing from exhaustion yesterday, (C) I'm completely missed *two* Bones episodes, and (C) the Nicholl deadline is now a week away.

...

Last time I checked, I think I was on page 12.

One of the most frustrating things about writing is fitting it into the schedule. Trying to balance life and writing and employment requires more grace than I am known to have. Having a job means coming home exhausted and drained. Taking trips means several days that are a complete wash. Pursing other hobbies means less time time to write. Add in friends, and I'm pretty sure I've suddenly become overbooked. There are so many ways NOT to write that it's a wonder anything ever gets written at all.

But it means that those who really want to write will. It takes sacrifice and discipline, something I did not show when I come home last night, threw on sweats, and proceeded to watch several hours of television. The key is balance, though. I don't think that it's worth missing out on life in order to write. The writing relationships is one of the only ones that actually suffers from monogamy.

Oh, and deadlines are incredibly helpful with productivity.

It also helps that I've now finished watching the first two seasons of the BBC Robin Hood series online. I'm going to go through severe bouts of withdrawal now that I have to wait for my DVDs to come in the mail. Netflix is such a tease.

Not gonna lie, I might choose Robin Hood over Mr. Darcy.

Where I've Been

Michigan. I've spent the last five days in glorious Michigan. Tonight I go home to Jersey. I work two days and then head down to Virginia Beach for the weekend. I'm busy. In lieu of a real post, how about a great song?

Shortcutting

Rewriting can have some good days. Like the days where you gain five pages by cut and paste. Those are good days.

Ain't No Line like a Deadline

Last night I had a dream within a dream. Like I woke up once, went about whatever I was doing, and then woke up a SECOND time. I have some crazy dreams, but this is the first time a dream within a dream has ever happened to me. Doesn't that only happen in scary and poorly written movies?

I am not participating in Screnzy this year (I know you all have been on the edges of your seats to know what I decided). I am insanely busy and can barely fit in my regularly scheduled writing, never mind a completely fresh story I hadn't even thought of yet. Screnzy, you're so much fun. Maybe next year.

Because, oh how productive deadlines can make me! Former screenwriting professor recently emailed me details to a screenwriting contest. They were giving a discount particularly to Michigan students. This weekend I thought maybe I had a shot of cleaning up Keys to the Garden in time (when, of course, I haven't even started my draft), but welcome to reality, Amy, you're not in college anymore where you can spend 7 hours at the coffee shop writing for your day of deadline.

Those days were so awesome.

Juggling a job, a life, and my writing doesn't allow for that anymore. But did this contest I won't be able to enter get my butt in gear? Heck yes. I wrote 7 pages yesterday. I got through my inciting incident. If I can keep this self discipline up, maybe I can finish the new draft of Keys by the end of the month, which I NEED to do because that's the Nicholl deadline.

So the deadline to a contest I won't be able to enter will have me pushing to finish my script by April 11th, the deadline for Creative Screenwriting's contest, which I will fail to reach because of the rest of my life, BUT it will give me enough momentum to finish in time for the Nicholl.

It's nice to know that I need THREE deadlines in order to complete one draft. But truly, self imposed deadlines just don't work as well as real deadlines do.