Writers are God's most pretentious creatures.

I remember, last year during NaNo, I blogged a ridiculous amount, often bemoaning the duress of the month. I don't know the last time I did a substantial blog of anything other than song lyrics. I'll just say I've been expending all my creative energy on my other masterpieces.

That, and real life.

I'm going to school again in January, and I'm so psyched! It's a little surreal; I never thought, really, that I would be going where I've decided. On the other hand, once I decided, months ago, that it was where I wanted to go, I knew if it was in the smallest way feasible, I'd be there. I'm stubbornly persistent sometimes. Sometimes it works. Hopefully, this time the major will stick, now that I've decided to abandon all those programs I was in so I would have a day job to support my writing and just chosen instead a program that will facilitate my dreams of being a starving artist. My job is too important for it to be anything other than what I really want to be doing with my life.

In preparation for the program, and because of various contacts I've been making, I'm soaking myself in as much screenwriting literature and advice as possible. It's a little overwhelming sometimes, but I'm learning lots already, and it's just making me more excited for January, when I can actually start taking classes and applying what I know and learning more. I have a couple of script ideas spinning around, but right now I feel guilty working on them.

Because of NaNo.

Right now I'm at about 31,000 words with less than a week to go. With my average speed of 1,000 words a half hour and the fact that I don't' do much of anything now that I'm back in America, it isn't impossible to finish by midnight, Novemeber 30th. I'm having a hard time focusing. I picked a subject that was too serious, and I'm not having nearly as much fun writing it as I did last year. On the other hand, I'm sorta glad I stuck with this subject, because I was going to have to write it sometime, since it was just one of those ideas that kept sticking with me. However, it's so much flater than I thought it would be, and it definitely needs a lot of strucutral and plot work because it's anywhere near the work of literary genius I thought it would be. And it doesn't help that I'd much rather be reading about screenplay writing than writing my NaNo. But I suppose part of NaNo is the procrastination (not like I'm not a master of that already).

Right now, it's time for a game of Boggle with my family. Those three thousand words I need to write? Totally can do it later, no problem...

I'm sorry if you thought this was true about your parents, because it's not.

Because quite obviously, I have the best, most supportive parents ever. All of us, their kids, are crazy in our own ways, and sometimes I wonder what they think when we break out with our last "decision" (i.e. go to England, study romantic love in college, make brickfilms). It's probably better not to ask them. But my parents really are amazing. I hope if I'm ever a parent, my husband and I will be just as supportive of our children. Because having your parents support really does make a huge difference.

One of my new favourite bands.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

- "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

How I hate goodbyes.

I thought I would wrap up my six months here with a second installment of what I've learned in England:

1. If you wash a spider down the drain, it really will crawl up again.

2. Cutting the grass, like cooking and ironing, is also a waste of time. However, as it is difficult to do with company, it just shouldn't be done at all.

3. Peer pressure is a "good" thing when we use it on children.

4. Don't go back and read old love letters.
EDIT: Go back and read old love letters.

5. What sleeping ducks look like.

6. If you shave a zebra, it will be all black. If you shave a tiger, it will still have its stripes.

7. Happiness and pain can co exist simultaneously.

8. Sometimes you have to make the mistake, even if you know it's a mistake.

9. If you weighed all the spiders in the world and all the people in the world, the weight of the spiders would be more.

10. People seem to either take life too seriously or not seriously enough.

11. All swans belong to the Queen.

12. I am a loud person.

13. If you're not properly hydrated, your brain goes fuzzy.

14. It's easier to choose to love someone than choose to not love them.

15. Walks at dusk are nice.

16. As Finding Forrester says, "Write your first draft with your heart."

17. The only thing that can make a bad day worse is finally seeing your cute neighbor from across the street... as you're walking home from buying the biggest bar of chocolate ever.

18. God brought me to England for a reason (or maybe more than one), and I should never wish that I was somewhere else.

19. I've been mispronouncing "first" my entire life.

20. Do not stir rice.

21. The British bus system is hopeless (and if trains are down for engineering work, well, good luck).

22. Always take a flashlight and compass when traveling.

23. Don't always play it safe.

24. Glasses don't give the Bug Off look they're supposed to.

25. Slow down.

26. Be careful of making attachments you know you're going to leave (not don't do it, just be careful)

27. The people of Cardiff are terrible drivers.

28. Just because a train is about ready to leave the station doesn't mean you should jump on it; check to make sure it's the one you want first.

29. Don't use your passport as your everday ordinary ID.

30. Life is better when all you have is a good foundation than it is when you have a whole condemned mansion.

I have no more original thoughts

"I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along"

Rediscovering the radio

Well it's a big big city and it's always the same
Can never be too pretty tell me you your name
Is it out of line if I were so bold to say "Would you be mine"?

Because I may be a beggar and you maybe the queen
I know I maybe on a downer am still ready to dream
Now it's 3 o'clock time it takes for you to talk

So if you're lonely why'd you say your not lonely
Oh your a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come
And go you know me no you don't even know me
Your so sweet to try, oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible

Well it's a big big city and the lights are all out
But it's much as I can do you know to figure you out
And I must confess, my hearts in broken pieces
And my heads a mess
And it's 4 in the morning, and I'm walking along
Beside the ghost of every drinker here who has ever done wrong
And it's you, woo hoo
That's got me going crazy for the things you do

So if your crazy I don't care you amaze me
Oh youre a stupid girl, oh me, oh my, you talk
I die, you smile, you laugh, I cry
And only, a girl like you could be lonely
And it's a crying shame, if you would think the same
A boy like me's just irresistible

So if your lonely, why'd you say you're not lonely
Oh your a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come and go
And know me, no you don't even know me
Your so sweet to try oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible

- "Whistle for the Choir"

NaNoWriMo 2006

I will not fall behind on the first day.

"Truly, truly I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy.
"So you have sorry now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you."

- John 16:20, 22