"Then [the man] started throwing sea creatures."

Hehehe.

Horror vacui

I went to the beach Thursday. I have a rare problem, Reader. I don't understand how to sun bathe. After we got back from our little foray (by the by, the beaches are lovely this time of year. Empty because it's not yet summer but still warm enough to enjoy), I stepped into the bathroom and was surprised to see that one side of my face was more burnt than the other. A couple of years ago (shows how often I go to the beach, huh), I accidentally tanned one arm more than the other. But it's worse when it's your face that's uneven - oh the wonders of make up.

I've been pretty busy the past week, which is a little strange considering that I have nothing to do. I've decided that I'm going to redecorate my room. When we moved into this house a year and a half ago I just sort of threw my stuff into my room and left it there. My drawers are full of clothes I never wear and my bookshelf holds CDs and books I haven't touched since high school. And the wall paper in here - yuck. I mean, I may not spend a lot of time here at my parents' house, but there's no reason why I need to be living out of a duffle bag in the dining room since my closet of a room only has space for the clothes I never wear. Besides, it will give me something to do, and whenever my parents decide to sell this house, potential buyers need to see how this space can actually be utilized as more than just a walk in closet.

Iron Man - So I saw this movie last night. I really liked it. It was entertaining, I liked the casting, good effects. I think their decision to start the movie where they did was interesting; it was the only time they shifted the timeline, and it was obviously done to start the story off with an intense action sequence. I think it also helped make Tony Stark likeable. Because, let's face it, in the first act he's sorta a jerk. He ignores appointments, disregards his friends, and is superficial. But in those first few minutes with the soldiers, he jokes around with them, and the audience can see that his edge isn't necessarily threatening or mean. I thought it was very well written. Perhaps the best superhero movie since Batman Begins, no?

It was my worst theatre experience in a while, though. At least half of the near full theatre (it's been a long time since I've been in a theatre that full, actually) were middle school aged kids who would not be quiet. I'm really surprised the people sitting around them didn't complain. Also, I think we need to make a new rule about theatre etiquette. No cell phone use - whatsoever. No matter if it's on silent or you're just texting or whatever - how hooked up are we that we can't just leave them in our pockets for a couple of hours. Heaven forbid someone not be able to get ahold of us, like we might have a life or something. It's just so distracting when someone in your row or in the one in front of you whips out their phone and this insanely bright spot of light pops up on the corner of your vision. When we went to go see Jumper there were four people sitting in front of this, and three of them were constantly pulling out their phones. I'm sorry that I'm old fashioned.

Actually I'm not, really.

It's been almost a week since I said I wasn't going to write without feeling passionate about a story. A couple of days after that, I got a great idea for a story. I haven't written anything down yet, but I summarized it for a few of my friends and have been thinking about it. I think I might start taking down notes this week. I like it enough to deem it my next Current Draft. The other idea I'm playing with is a concept for a webseries that I plagiarized from myself. I'm hoping to shoot a webseries next year at uni. It's just up in the air still if it'll be my self plagiarized series that I'll write and direct or if it'll be a series in collaboration with others also writing and directing. I'd love to do both, but we've only go so much time.

We're working on the Lives Agape website. My computer hacker (in the best way) brother is helping me out, because if it's not prefabricated for me, I'm pretty useless with the internet. I'll let everyone know once it's up and running and "Join This Group?" has premiered world wide.

I Missed What Might Have Been the Greatest Moment in My Life

Hayden Christensen was in town on Friday filming for his movie "Jumper." I was on my way to a wedding in Illinois. : (

"no need to wonder what's been on my mind"

It's 1230, my computer just crashed with my original post, and I still have at least an hour's worth of work ahead of me. I haven't been able to stop thinking for the past two weeks. You know my entire life can be summed up in song lyrics?

Our pastor today talked about the church community, the real relationships and true love and genuine trust we're supposed to be able to find there. Ever wonder what would happen if we stopped lying to each other? I try to be honest in my relationships, to be open, genuine, etc. etc. I'm wondering about what the next level's like. Do people really want to see the honest you (or me)? Aren't they more comfortable not knowing? Maybe I'll just adopt a policy of if you ask, I'll tell.

I was looking through my old posts, and I saw this that I wrote sometime in the fall:

Just pray that God makes it really really really obvious what He wants me to do. I know what I want to do and I know what will probably end up happening, but I want to make sure that I do what He wants. I'm scared that I'll just have to make a blind choice, and that God will show me *afterwards* that I made the one He wanted. I want to know before I do it.

When I was applying to colleges, I made a deal with God. According to the terms of this deal, I felt pretty good about whatever He told me to do. I guess I was just sure that He was going to clearly guide me into what He wanted me to do. Then I realized that this deal was *mine* and that I had set it all up for Him, and really, He hadn't agreed to anything. And when it came time to make my college decisions, I didn't have that clear voice of God telling me what to do. I just had to make the smartest choice on blind faith. As a result, I've had to spend days where the one thing reverberating in my head over and over again is, Why the heck am I here? Not why am I here in the existential way, but why am I here, at Michigan, doing the things I'm doing. Because the thing is, I don't feel God's guidance. I don't know what He wants me to do here. Right now I'm getting pulled through life by its sheer force, my faith tied to my wrist on a string, convincing myself that I did not make a mistake. A huge $40,000 per year mistake. I know I didn't. I would probably have that fear at any new school. The adjustment period, you know.

I felt like I should know what I'm supposed to be doing here by now. I feel like I should know God's reason. I feel like I should *hear* Him. And I talked to my sister about it, and she was amazing. She always was the more rational one. The thing is, after talking to her, I knew that it's coming. Whatever it is, whatever God has planned for me, I'll know what it is soon enough. "Yes I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on..." My faith is a string. It's so frail, it's so little, but it's holding up my entire life.

And even if it was a mistake, God knows how to make it better.

I can't stop playing the songs of my life over and over again in my head. I can't keep from returning to the convictions that mixed up my life in the first place. I can't stop thinking.

How I hate goodbyes.

I thought I would wrap up my six months here with a second installment of what I've learned in England:

1. If you wash a spider down the drain, it really will crawl up again.

2. Cutting the grass, like cooking and ironing, is also a waste of time. However, as it is difficult to do with company, it just shouldn't be done at all.

3. Peer pressure is a "good" thing when we use it on children.

4. Don't go back and read old love letters.
EDIT: Go back and read old love letters.

5. What sleeping ducks look like.

6. If you shave a zebra, it will be all black. If you shave a tiger, it will still have its stripes.

7. Happiness and pain can co exist simultaneously.

8. Sometimes you have to make the mistake, even if you know it's a mistake.

9. If you weighed all the spiders in the world and all the people in the world, the weight of the spiders would be more.

10. People seem to either take life too seriously or not seriously enough.

11. All swans belong to the Queen.

12. I am a loud person.

13. If you're not properly hydrated, your brain goes fuzzy.

14. It's easier to choose to love someone than choose to not love them.

15. Walks at dusk are nice.

16. As Finding Forrester says, "Write your first draft with your heart."

17. The only thing that can make a bad day worse is finally seeing your cute neighbor from across the street... as you're walking home from buying the biggest bar of chocolate ever.

18. God brought me to England for a reason (or maybe more than one), and I should never wish that I was somewhere else.

19. I've been mispronouncing "first" my entire life.

20. Do not stir rice.

21. The British bus system is hopeless (and if trains are down for engineering work, well, good luck).

22. Always take a flashlight and compass when traveling.

23. Don't always play it safe.

24. Glasses don't give the Bug Off look they're supposed to.

25. Slow down.

26. Be careful of making attachments you know you're going to leave (not don't do it, just be careful)

27. The people of Cardiff are terrible drivers.

28. Just because a train is about ready to leave the station doesn't mean you should jump on it; check to make sure it's the one you want first.

29. Don't use your passport as your everday ordinary ID.

30. Life is better when all you have is a good foundation than it is when you have a whole condemned mansion.