Killing and Cutting.

I've never worked with a writing partner. I try to harvest my bff D.'s brain as often as possible, and once I got through a first act based off an idea we had, but I've never worked straight on with a writing partner.

Working with V. is the closest I've ever been to writing with a partner. We meet every week and discuss the story, I get notes, I take notes, etc. Usually I just nod and write down what he says. I need to ruminate before I give input, so usually my voice comes through just in my writing, not when we're actually discussing the script (which means that if V. disagrees with me, I'll most likely have to rewrite it).

I usually agree with the notes he gives me. Then again, he hasn't given me a ton of notes yet so I don't have much fodder to disagree with yet. But last week, he asked me to cut a scene that I liked, that I thought was necessary, at the very least, addressed a question we needed to answer. I actually didn't mind cutting the scene, as long as the protagonist had to wrestle with the question at some point.

Most of our meeting was preoccupied with that problem -- do we have to have this scene? And do we have to have this problem at all? And I thought I won. I really really thought I had proved my point.

And then he emailed and he found a way to bypass it, all together! I was disappointed. I thought the problem presented a moral and ethical conundrum that it would have been interesting to see our main character wrestle with. I wanted to test her. And I was disappointed that we weren't going to test her to that extreme.

But I said yes, I said I would cut it. Because we're shooting ultra low budget and by cutting that scene we cut a character and a location. I want to see this made and I don't want making it to be difficult. If I was writing this story as a spec, maybe I'd argue this point. Maybe I'll consider it some more, how passionate I feel about this particular problem for our character.

But this script is already over budget. I've populated it with so many characters and so many locations, I'm going to have to cut a whole bunch of scenes anyway. So, in the interest of the movie -- perhaps over the interest over the script -- I'll cut the scene and I'll barrel ahead.

Snow.

We had our first real snow last night. It rained all day, and then suddenly I came out of the coffee shop to see my car covered in these gorgeous fluffy flakes as if the minivan had been part of a you-grow crystal kit. I wish I had taken some pictures, because it was truly a winter wonderland.

Then I had to drive in it. Driving in the snow at night is kind of like driving through an optical illusion. Living in Michigan has some real pro/con moments.

I have crested the midpoint in my script for V. and am now hopefully barreling down the hill into Act III. We didn't have a solid plan for the second half of the script and writing it feels a little bit like driving through a snowstorm at night. I feel like I'm holding on to my ambiguous outline with the same tense relaxation that you grip your steering wheel with in bad weather. It's terrifying and you're thrilled that you're just staying on the road.

I'm feeling stressed and good -- stressed when I think about writing and good when I actually am writing. I have a (semi self-imposed?) deadline of finishing the first draft before Christmas. I am fully confident I can pull this off. I am also fully exhausted.

I basically replaced NaNoWriMo with Finish Script Now Month (FiScriNoMo?). I took a weekend to catch up with friends I hadn't seen since pre-Thanksgiving and then refocused. I've been using a lot of mantras to help keep me on task. Get words on page. In it to win it. The only way out is through.

I'm not incredibly competitive, but the thought that someone out there wants exactly what I want, the same jobs and assignments I want, and is prepping right now by putting in the time and the effort and the lonely frustrating hours at the keyboard motivates me. At the end of the day, I don't want to miss out on my dream career because I failed to prepare. That's not going to happen.

Overnight success is years in the making. And those who stay will be champions.

50,109

Oh hello.

The non-stop hellbent ride that is November is over. I have stopped buying sketchy sandwiches from coffee shops, feeling guilty about not working on my script, and exhaustion-based drooling. Thanksgiving was a hit (both in fun and to my word count), so I had to make up 16k words in 3 days. Basically, I'm a winner AND a baller. This novel is a hot mess, but there are some moments and/or characters that I'm fond of, and after I take a break I'm going to attack it with a highlighter, lift the three moments that actually work, and structure something new.

I mean, that's the plan so far.

In the meantime, I have some very specific goals (I outlined day-by-days goal about a week ago, in an attempt to productive to the max. I didn't write for the subsequent two days).

1. Finish the script for V. We are halfway through and I promised the script before Christmas. I'm confident that I can get it done. Every meeting I go into with him I'm expecting to get fired. I don't really know why I feel this way, but I have this mental picture of us sitting down, him looking at the pages quietly, and then saying, "Yeahhhh, this isn't going to work."

But not so! We had a great meeting yesterday, and he's even secured a DP already. Every time I think about him talking to someone about the film, I get a little hyperventilatey-nervous. It makes it super real. It also makes me feel a little bit famous.

2. Rewrite The Exit Strategy over Christmas break. This seems unreasonable when I say it, but I'm going to prep for rewriting all this month, reread the script, figure out the new elements, restructure, replot, reoutline. I have a week and a day off for the holidays, and I can knock through a prepped script that quickly. I think.

3. See some movies. There are some great indie films out that I want to catch, and the holidays are going to bring both popcorn flicks and award nominees. I'm down.

4. Blog about screenwriting more. The novel distraction is over. It's back to work.

Returns and Hobbitses.

Today I went back to the school where I worked last year. I hadn't seen any of my coworkers since I left last spring, so I met them for lunch. [I also stopped by to see the students. My Favourite Student offered me an invisible contract to come back and teach 3rd grade. I told him I'd have my lawyers look it over.]

The inevitable question came up--so what are you doing? [This came right after "Where are you?" with the answer of Michigan surprising some.] I realized very quickly there was no glamorous way to answer, "Nothing." I am literally doing nothing. I'm not even looking for a job right now. Granted, these two week "vacation" back to Jersey put a pretty definitely stop on any job searching.

If it was more than a passing conversation with the former coworker, I'd go into more detail, the probability that I'd be looking for a non film job soon, how I've been able to write obscene amounts since unemployed, my concerns with juggling a film career, a life, writing, and eventually, a family. However, I felt most conversations boiled down to one sentiment--Yes, remember when I worked here? Now I'm a bum.

I don't mind. Maybe because I watched a Scottish movie last night and am more persuaded than ever that what I really need to do right now is live in the UK. Also, I'd like to learn Italian.

The New Zealand actors union has lifted their ban on working for The Hobbit. Smooth move, but you might've waited too long. New Line is using the union's blacklist as leverage to say it's looking at different locations. Nikki Finke thinks Peter Jackson is too personally and professionally invested in New Zealand to make the move, but one Kiwi said on Scott Myers' blog that "it's nationwide panic."

Way to go, guys. You not only made a decision unpopular with your members, but you've also managed to upset an entire country.

Motels and Surrender.

Specs versus pilots continues. Kyle Killen, writer of Mel Gibson pic The Beaver and showrunner of the late Lone Star, said that when hiring writers he prefers to see a pilot but has also hired candidates off of outstanding specs. And on the topic of TV shows, New York Magazine recently ran an article, This Platform Is Not Yet Rated, discussing the difficulties in tracking ratings with the rise of online and DVR viewing. Neilsen is making some changes to their tracking system, but not until next year. The second page of the article has a couple interesting charts breaking down audiences of various shows by which platform they consume content on.

As far as last night's TV--Glee, I like your stories so much better this season. They're actually different from episode to episode. I don't think the existence of the glee club has been threatened in two entire weeks! But--song integration has really gone down hill. Every single song was set in the classroom as students perform for other students. The beauty of musicals is that they're set in a world where spontaneous eruptions into song and dance are not only tolerated as normal but encouraged and choreographed. Get it out of the classroom--make the song performances just as interesting as the stories are becoming.

I also watched Detroit 1-8-7 last night--which everyone should--and I was excited to see a location we had shot at when I was working in July. They had changed the name, but you could still see the real name in a window reflection for a quick shot. It was pretty cool. Probably because that location was so sketchy. Detroit 1-8-7 kinda makes me want to be a detective, but maybe that's just because I'm about to open up my career options.

I moved back to Michigan with the hope of breaking into the budding industry here. It has not been so easy. I worked on one film in July, but unfortunately the important contacts I made all went back home to LA at the end of the month. Which is too bad, because getting jobs is all about contacts, and I know I'd be working if I was in LA. HW Guy was telling me the other day about how the Key PA from our July shoot was considering moving to LA for a while and how if I could get out there, he would take the two of us on every shoot as his 2nd and 2nd 2nd. We'd be the dream AD team. And that people would actually like the AD team for a change [ADs are usually obnoxious. In fact, I told HW Guy so. I told him I thought 1st ADs were all supposed to be tools and that I was surprised when he wasn't].

But the truth is I haven't been working here in Michigan. I have had two other jobs lined up since then, and they've both fallen through due to poor communication and, frankly speaking, unprofessionalism. And now winter's coming and productions are not. I'm thinking about shifting my focus, taking a low stress non industry job for the winter, and keeping up my high productivity on my writing. I don't want to, mostly because I'm kinda a proud person and there were people who didn't think I could get film jobs here and I don't want them to be right. But I need to get a job, if only because I'm turning into a writer recluse and feel pretty boring.

I am being insanely productive on the writing side. I finished the first draft of Places yesterday. It took me two weeks to write that draft. Granted, draft one of any script isn't the hardest. Usually it writes itself or it falters and flails and I give up. It's rewriting that takes more stamina. But if I can get a first draft banged out in two weeks, I should be able to get a pilot done from brainstorming to reader-ready in six to eight weeks. I wouldn't be able to do that if I was working 12+ hour days, 6 days a week on a set. Maybe it's worth it to take a non film job for the next six months if it means that I'll really be LA ready at the end of my year in Michigan.

A Lack of an Update

I moved into my new apartment yesterday. It's lovely, of course, but it has no internet or cable yet, and I'm waiting for my Roomie to get back from her weekend away to set it up. Lucky for me there's a coffee shop just down the road. Also I don't have a bed or anything yet. And I need to paint my room first before I attempt to bring all the furniture in. So picture a nice new apartment, completely empty except for a bunch of boxes strew all over the place and an air mattress, and you'll get a pretty accurate picture of my current life.

I also got a PA job [job as in paid work]. The details of which I'm not yet going to share, but let's just say that it was a poor celebration last night of me eating alone on the floor of my unfurnished eating pizza and watching an ancient episode of Bones on my computer. I cannot WAIT to share the details though because, not only is this one of the biggest films to come to Michigan, but the story about how my name got passed along is pretty incredible.

This is great.

Wrapped

We wrapped the feature I was working on Thursday morning. Well, technically we wrapped Thursday afternoon after they reshot the footage from the last tape that was accidentally erased before being downloaded. The wrap party was Thursday night. All the rumors about wrap parties are true.

One of the grips said to me after I took the 2nd AD position, "You've got this new glow. You're really owning this step up." First of all, our grips are so awesome and sweet. But I really did enjoy being 2nd AD, and I was thinking about how this is one of the few times, maybe one of the only times, that I felt I really really excelled at something. I feel that in life I manage to get second best or top ten fairly frequently. But to really really excel at something is often out of reach for me.

I really feel that I rocked it out.

But now I'm jobless. And that, my readers, sucks.

My Most PA Moment of the Day 4

When I got a sudden promotion to 2nd AD.

Working 6 to 6, what a way to make a living

I have been hard at work this past week and a half.

The film I've been working on since last Monday started shooting a week ago. This means 12-14 hour days. The last four days have been night shoots, from 6 pm to 6 am. I hate taking naps, so sleeping during the day was really difficult for me. Also, lesson learned, after a night shoot, you want to go straight to bed, not hang around awake for a couple more hours to go have breakfast with your normal lifestyle friends. Also, I missed seeing my friends. Working such long hours means it's difficult to see much of them anyway, but working nights meant that I'd *maybe* see my roommates as I was grabbing some dinner at 7 am and they were heading off to work. But after our shoot wrapped yesterday at 6 am we have until tomorrow morning off, and it's blissful. It's easy to readjust to sleeping at night.

I've been learning a lot. The last three days, the PA who normally helps out with AC has been gone, and because I nagged the 1st AD about getting involved in more technical stuff, he put me in as the sub. Basically all I did as an AC was switch out dead batteries on the camera and move the monitor around, but I ALSO was in charge of the slate. I love being slate girl. I was in more shots than any one actor these past three days. Ok, but I really did like AC. And it gave me an excuse to be on set on the time. When the AC PA comes back, I might just follow him around and be the 2nd. Not that there's enough for for a 2nd AC, but it beats hanging out off set waiting to be sent on a run.

The last two days have been such dead days for the PAs, mostly because of the location we were at. But I would walk off set and see people just hanging out, nothing to do, waiting for the next job (not just PAs. Wardrobe, makeup, lighting, etc). I don't really want to spend my time like that. If I'm not on set, I'm going to be bothering Grip and Electric about their jobs and their equipment (I love our G&E department. They're super awesome). I'm going to ask Set Design about their background and how they approach a project. I may even hang out by the editing booth and try to absorb some Final Cut technique. I really, almost surprisingly because it's been so good, enjoy the people I work with and just hanging out with them, but I'm getting paid in experience so I'm going to make sure I get as much of it as I possibly can.

Other than that, I haven't been writing at all. So, that kinda sucks.

My Most PA Moment of the Day 1

When Scripty handed me her half finished cigarette and asked me if I could put it on a bench for her since she had to go to the scene and "it's such a waste."

Scary

This weekend Roommate J and I watched Paranormal Activity. I thought it was great, but I didn't really find it that scary. Here are some reasons why --

1. Always watch scary movies with someone who is more scared than you are. I watched Blair Witch Project with BFF D. That way I can alleviate tension by teasing them for being scared.

2. Analyze the filmmaking while watching. I kept thinking about how the budgetary constraints made any special effects near impossible, which limited the amount of scary things they could do.

3. Check how long the movie runs before starting, then keep watching the timer on the DVD to see how far you're into the movie and how much time you have left. This helps you determine when the third act, and therefore the really scary parts, are coming.

4. Know the ending before you start watching. I mean, I didn't know *everything* about the ending. But I knew the basic idea.

5. Watch while hugging a pillow and through your fingers.

Surefire ways to make a scary movie seem not scary.

I started working on a film on Monday (and by working, I mean I'm paid in connections and relationships. Which is actually what I want right now. Though some money wouldn't be bad either). I'm having a wonderful time. These next few weeks are going to be super educational, super hard sometimes, and super fun.

Let me tell you something

Looking for jobs sucks. It sucks. I have been working on it, and it sucks. I can't even remember to make sure my resume is in pdf format so that formatting doesn't go all weird when I email it. Hellllo, newbie.

Ugh.

I'm not worrying about it this weekend, though, because everyone's offices are closed for the three day weekend. (Great timing, Amy.)

I'm going to try to write this weekend, but I've had a crisis of faith. And so rarely does someone else get that whole writing thing about me, that I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. My attention span is near zero. I feel that writing, when I actually get it done, is no more productive than spinning around on a hamster wheel. The Infinite Draft.

That being said, I'm going to spend some time this weekend writing. I'll go to my favourite cafe where I'd go on writing benders the day of a deadline during undergrad. And I'm going to work on my resume and try to figure out some new places to look for jobs. Because the only way to get out of a rut is to keep going. And what else am I going to do? Stop?

Yeah, right.

Here

I am safe and sound and getting cozy in Michigan.

Now, since I've been here all of twelve hours, if anyone knows of any films or TV shows that are crewing up, please let me know.

Shrinking

I have a bazillion things to do. All I really want to do is watch the World Cup. All. Day. Long. So when Firefighter Friend asked me what I wanted to do last night, instead of thinking up something new and adventurous, I said, "Well, I'm staying home and watching the England game I DVRed. You can join me if you'd like." And he did, which I think was rather sweet considering he doesn't really care for soccer.

We only watched the first half because I already knew how it ended and it wasn't a very dramatic game anyway. I'm a little frustrated by the fact that every game the US and England has played has been a draw (though we didn't lack for drama in our game against Slovenia). There needs to be more soul crushing. Done by us, of course.

And now, this trailer I have been waiting months to see --



Conviction filmed during my senior year. A lot of it filmed on campus, and a couple of my friends sighted Hilary Swank frequenting our local restaurants. Pamela Gray came and spoke to the master class, which was a pure delight.

I'm really excited about this film because 1. I think it's going to be a great story, 2. I'm excited about seeing places I know in it, and 3. this is one of the first films that came to Michigan because of the tax breaks. Not the very first, but it was one of the early ones and it seemed to have a very large presence. Maybe it's because a lot of it was filmed in Ann Arbor or because they employed a lot of Michigan locals as extras, but I feel like Conviction was one of the films that heralded good news for the film industry in Michigan.

Which I hope will result in good news for me.

Diners, Dentists, and Dinner Parties

I got heckled outside my church for wearing my England jersey. Hey, I cheered for the US during the game Saturday. They're just both favourites. And I was living in England during the last world cup. Difficult to get an American jersey over there.

Firefighter Friend and I went to the diner last night. I figure I should probably get my fill of diners here in Jersey before I move back to Michigan where there's like one. In the whole state. I was talking to him about moving and I said something about being there for probably about two years, and he got this expression on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"You'll be back in six months," he answered.

FF is always a little bit snarky but still. What if I don't find a job? What if I run out of money? What if I lose my motivation and do nothing but watch movies and bake all day long (I'd be a great housewife for my roommates)? What happens if six months in I'm not making any progress?

I have plans (well, I have plans of plans) for the future, like at what point I'm going to throw in the towel, which career I would switch to if I had to, when I'm going to move to England. But I don't want that (except for the last one. I am going to move to England).

I realize that I haven't been writing about screenwriting a lot recently. And I've been procrastinating on a post about that for some time. It's because I haven't been writing a lot recently. But soon I'll have lots to say (or not say) about trying to find a job in the film industry, albeit if it is in Michigan.

And I think that's a little bit scary because, when it comes to writing, you do all this work on your own for years and years and some day maybe it all starts to work together, either in small spurts or sudden success. But when it comes to trying to find a crew job - it's not something that I'm going to be plugging away at in solitude. It's going to involve a lot of daily effort and hard work and a lot of risk. Which means the potential for a lot of failure.

Which means I'll have a lot of hilariously disastrous posts in the near future.