Nightmares and Hell.

I drove the 10 hours from Michigan to my parents' house yesterday. It was beautiful yesterday, and I made it in record time. I didn't tell anyone I was coming. It's nice to surprise people.

Unfortunately, all I dreamed about for the first half of the night was that I was driving through endless speed traps and past a plethora of police cars. Nothing like driving 600 miles only to dream about more driving when you finally get to sleep.

Deadline Hollywood broke a story about yet another Twitter to TV deal, "a comedy series based on Charlie McDowell's feed and Web site Dear Girls Above Me, about a single man who gains insight into the female mind by eavesdropping on his upstairs neighbors." This is CBS' third Twitter-based script order according to DH, along with Shh... Don't Tell Steve and $#*! My Dad Says. Dear Girls Above Me has gotten a script order to be cowritten by McDowell.

I hope this dies in development hell.

Look, I have no problem with web-based content being picked up for more traditional media, blogs turned to books, YouTube stars getting spots on talk shows, Twitters turned to TV shows [ok, that does sorta bug me]--if the content is any good. The $#*! My Dad Says feed is kinda funny. But I haven't bothered to watch the sitcom, so... Distribution is completely changing, and I'm not anti-progress. I think it's completely fair to "discover" talent online. And I wish McDowell continued success. But I do have some problems--

1. Just because you're internet popular doesn't mean you're Hollywood popular. McDowell may have a respectable following. I know if I ever broke a hundred followers I'd be thrilled, and he's near 35,000. Fine, I respect that. I respect that he's got a decent corner in the 140-characters of humor market. But if you make a TV show based on his Twitter feed and put it on network television--how are those 35,000 followers going to fair against competitors' programming? With Monday night football or The Big Bang Theory or Glee? How are you going to go from 35,000 to millions?

2. It's still a different format. A good writer is a good writer, true. I think all writing helps you improve your story craft. But the skills that go into making a Twitter feed funny are completely different than the ones that go into making a TV show funny. Networks do recognize that, I believe, which is why McDowell is only co-authoring the pilot and $#*! was mentored by sitcom veterans. However, just because something is funny in one format doesn't mean that it will translate effectively into another format.

3. Dear Girls Above Me isn't funny. I thought I'd check it out before I rail against it. It's not not funny. It's just not--anything special. And, I hate to be the humorless feminist in the room, but what a terrible portrayal of women. They are ignorant, self centered, and completely brainless. They're flat, one dimensional characters. Sometimes that works--Sue Sylvester from Glee was wonderful before they gave her the sister angle. But the way the Girls Above are depicted makes me cringe. Or, as one commenter at DH hypothesized, McDowell's going to inadvertently and unknowingly meet one of the Girls Above and fall in love with one of them. And that would just be tacky.

I don't think this is sexism on the part of the network because it works both ways. Shhh... Don't Tell Steve is about an idiot boy roommate. [I'd like to say people just being stupid isn't funny anyway, but the Jackass 3D box office proves me otherwise]. It still bothers me, and I think it's because men are continually drawn as fleshed out, full grown characters, but female characters regularly get slighted. Women are repeatedly depicted in TV and film not as characters but as plot points, foils, and objects of desire and ridicule. They do not exist except for how they are viewed and perceived by men. And that kind of characterization--not the one dimensionality--I strongly protest.

[EDIT: Elizabeth Banks posted this on her Twitter. I don't know where it came from, but it's fascinating. Not completely accurate, maybe--I'd argue some characters they don't list as being well developed as excellent examples of great characterization--but fascinating still. Female Character Flowchart.]

4. An audience? How many women do you think are going to be tuning into this show?

5. Really, CBS? All the material you get pitched and spec-ed and bombarded with and this is what you order? Now I just feel bad for all the talented television writers who just got screwed.

Speaking of people I feel pity for, as much as I love the Yankees, I feel kinda bad for the Rangers.

Motels and Surrender.

Specs versus pilots continues. Kyle Killen, writer of Mel Gibson pic The Beaver and showrunner of the late Lone Star, said that when hiring writers he prefers to see a pilot but has also hired candidates off of outstanding specs. And on the topic of TV shows, New York Magazine recently ran an article, This Platform Is Not Yet Rated, discussing the difficulties in tracking ratings with the rise of online and DVR viewing. Neilsen is making some changes to their tracking system, but not until next year. The second page of the article has a couple interesting charts breaking down audiences of various shows by which platform they consume content on.

As far as last night's TV--Glee, I like your stories so much better this season. They're actually different from episode to episode. I don't think the existence of the glee club has been threatened in two entire weeks! But--song integration has really gone down hill. Every single song was set in the classroom as students perform for other students. The beauty of musicals is that they're set in a world where spontaneous eruptions into song and dance are not only tolerated as normal but encouraged and choreographed. Get it out of the classroom--make the song performances just as interesting as the stories are becoming.

I also watched Detroit 1-8-7 last night--which everyone should--and I was excited to see a location we had shot at when I was working in July. They had changed the name, but you could still see the real name in a window reflection for a quick shot. It was pretty cool. Probably because that location was so sketchy. Detroit 1-8-7 kinda makes me want to be a detective, but maybe that's just because I'm about to open up my career options.

I moved back to Michigan with the hope of breaking into the budding industry here. It has not been so easy. I worked on one film in July, but unfortunately the important contacts I made all went back home to LA at the end of the month. Which is too bad, because getting jobs is all about contacts, and I know I'd be working if I was in LA. HW Guy was telling me the other day about how the Key PA from our July shoot was considering moving to LA for a while and how if I could get out there, he would take the two of us on every shoot as his 2nd and 2nd 2nd. We'd be the dream AD team. And that people would actually like the AD team for a change [ADs are usually obnoxious. In fact, I told HW Guy so. I told him I thought 1st ADs were all supposed to be tools and that I was surprised when he wasn't].

But the truth is I haven't been working here in Michigan. I have had two other jobs lined up since then, and they've both fallen through due to poor communication and, frankly speaking, unprofessionalism. And now winter's coming and productions are not. I'm thinking about shifting my focus, taking a low stress non industry job for the winter, and keeping up my high productivity on my writing. I don't want to, mostly because I'm kinda a proud person and there were people who didn't think I could get film jobs here and I don't want them to be right. But I need to get a job, if only because I'm turning into a writer recluse and feel pretty boring.

I am being insanely productive on the writing side. I finished the first draft of Places yesterday. It took me two weeks to write that draft. Granted, draft one of any script isn't the hardest. Usually it writes itself or it falters and flails and I give up. It's rewriting that takes more stamina. But if I can get a first draft banged out in two weeks, I should be able to get a pilot done from brainstorming to reader-ready in six to eight weeks. I wouldn't be able to do that if I was working 12+ hour days, 6 days a week on a set. Maybe it's worth it to take a non film job for the next six months if it means that I'll really be LA ready at the end of my year in Michigan.

Candy and Characters.

E. generously supplies our apartment with candy. It's wonderful, except that it sits right in front of my on our dining room table where I do my work. It's vaguely reminiscent of the opening pages of The Princess Bride [most amazing book ever] where the Duchess de Guiche tries to bring down Annette the scullery maid [the most beautiful woman in the world the year Buttercup was born] by filling their palace with chocolate. And it works. I try to ignore the mounds of candy before me. It's an excercise in self control.

Also, if you've never read The Princess Bride, put everything else on hold until you do.

In the never ending battle of TV specs versus pilot, Bones creator Hart Hanson has extended the tie, saying that when he's looking to staff, he wants to see both a spec and original material. A point for both teams, and maybe it's time I pull that spec off the bookshelf.

Except I'm knee deep in two pilots as it is. I have maybe two full days' work left on the first draft of Places. I know already that I have a lot of work left to do on it, mostly stemming from the characters. One doesn't get enough interaction with the rest of the crew, one just isn't likeable at all [which is weird--since I sorta based the character on a friend... Oh, and don't everyone get paranoid, geez], and overall, they just aren't distinctive enough. I believe that characters need to be more than people; they need to be personalities. And they need to shine in ways that make us compulsively drawn to watch them. This doesn't mean that characters have to be over the top. They just have to be able to pull an audience in, and I don't think my slate of characters can do that yet.

And then I have a pilot out to friendly readers. It's been out for a while, and I haven't heard anything yet back, which inspires this terrible dread, mostly a fear that it was so boring that everyone read the first five pages, got distracted, and never returned. I think I'll be miserable if I found out I bored people.

I'd be miserable, and then I'd try to fix it.

In the meantime, I'm mulling over this contest from the Writer's Store. I haven't done a contest in forever, but I'd love to dabble in the spy genre. Also, what better way to procrastinate writing the Western I have percolating than by writing 15 pages of material that is unsellable and unuseable except for this contest? Perfect, I think.

Recovery and Subtext.

I had a great weekend [minus that really really horrible and embarrassing football game]. But it was not relaxing. Today it was a struggle to get back into productivity mode. But I did it! [I am very proud of work done on Mondays.] I wrote my 8 page quota in Places, a segment of another project, and had a lengthy phone call with my mother concerning my next trip home, relationships, and leftovers.

I watch less television than I could. That's what I would say if anyone ever asked me if I watch a lot of TV. Maybe, but less than I could. It's all research, anyway. I mean, it mostly is. Scott Myers' mantra is "Read scripts. Watch movies. Write pages." One thing I've been picking up on recently is the lack of subtext in television.

I feel like when I'm working on a film script, the biggest pitfall I want to avoid is to have my dialog be too on the nose. Characters shouldn't say exactly what they feel or mean because as people we don't do that very often. However, when I'm watching TV, that seems to be all they're ever doing. There are usually two extremes--either burying their emotions completely or just coming out with them. Scenes with subtext shine at a low percentage.

For instance, on Bones this season, nearly every single character has asked Brennan if she's ok with Booth dating Hannah. Or Daisy and Sweets have real conversations about their relationship status instead of having scenes with subtext. On Grey's Anatomy last week [and this was the first time I ever watched Grey's], no one felt any inhibitions about stating their opinion on whether or not Cristina Yang was ready to work in the OR again. In Sex and the City, the girls go out for drinks or lunch for complete disclosure at least three times an episode. In Modern Family, Jay and Gloria fight about what's really bothering them as it is, not disguised as something else.

Does television get away with more on the nose dialog? Usually honest dialog comes up in scenes of strong conflict, which makes sense. Yeah, the stakes were there in Glee when Terri was trying to conceal her fake pregnancy from Will, but things got really good when he actually found out that she was lying. You can have characters dance around an issue to make it engaging, but when they start getting raw is when the emotional stakes jump to a different level.

Also, there seem to be way more confident characters in television. How many times an episode do Lorelei and Rory Gilmore rehash their problems and advise each other towards a solution? How many plans did the boys in The League come up with to get Rafi out? How many episodes of the Undercovers will it take for the main characters to talk their way into a balance between being partners and being married? A character may be hesitant to broach a problem with the character they have it with, but they always have a friend who they can hash it out with, and the audience is always privy to that council.

Sometimes it's strange to write those on the nose scenes. But at the same time, they feel right. Because my heart doesn't pound when I'm dodging an issue with someone. It starts thumping right before I get terrifyingly honest with someone. And TV is drama, so it's going to capture those moments right as your emotions are exploding out of you, making a terrible mess of whatever you've been trying to be polite about.

Comedy and Error.

My mom and oldest younger brother came out to visit me a few weeks ago. They got to see my new apartment, go to the football opener against UConn, and eat our way through as much of Ann Arbor as we could fit into our stomachs. At the end of Sunday night, exhausted from our gallivanting and carousing, we went to this tiny hole in the wall ice cream place. I've gone on and hosted many a weekend visit, and by the last night, you kinda run out of things to say. So, as we sat there spoon-licking our ice cream, I did the only thing that came to mind. 
 
I made fun of our basketball team.

It's not that our basketball team is bad [though I think they probably are], it was just that there was a poster on the wall next to us. It had not only last year's schedule printed on it but also a picture of every single team member. These guys clearly were not used to standing still in front of a camera. They were easy targets. One of my favourite things to do is make my mom laugh, and luckily for me, she's pretty easily amused. I got at least fifteen minutes of material from that out dated poster, and yes, I do plan on repeating the routine.

There's a scene in Walk the Line where Reese Witherspoon as June Carter is talking about growing up in an all around talented family and finding her place there. She says, "My sister Anita's the one who really has the pipes... That's how come I learned to be funny. So I'd have something to offer." I don't try to write comedy. Whatever grace God gave to me when He gave me a sense of humor doesn't translate well to the page. But as I've been tracking the trends in television, box office, and online content, I've become more and more convinced that comedy is the future of the writing business.

Broadcast television--I'm convinced that it's just hard to find an audience for a drama. Television is not interactive entertainment. The viewer is completely passive [except when they're fast forwarding through commercials]. We don't come to television looking to be challenged--we come for entertainment and amusement. If you're going to relax after a long day, are you going to choose an hour long serialized emotional drama? Or a light-hearted comedy with a built-in laugh track? What gets easier than having someone else clue you in to when you're supposed to laugh? I personally follow way more comedies than dramas. And clearly it's not as finely split as serialized dramas versus sitcom comedies. There are plenty of successful episodic dramas such as Law and Order:Spinoff and CSI:Everywhere, as well as single camera comedies like The Office or Modern Family. And drama does a whole lot better on cable than on network television, ie Dexter, Mad Men, and Boardwalk Empire.

Perhaps this seems too subjective. How about this--there's no freshman break out show. Solid shows, yes, but there's no Glee or Modern Family [comedy breakouts from last year]. But the first two shows canceled--Lone Star and My Generation. Two serialized dramas. And the rumors floating around of what's on the chopping block next--dramas. There's been no talk of canceling any comedies, even those with disappointing ratings. 

But television is old news. New media is where it's at. Scott Smith over at Screenwriting from Iowa recently posted about new opportunities for writers penning advertisements as content. The writer's strike made an important point that online content and other new media does require an author [and therefore payment], opening up new possibilities ranging from web exclusives, such as The Office has on both their website and Hulu, to character Twitter accounts, like the promoting stunt Community performed before their premiere. Kurt Sutter has been promoting an iPhone app for Sons of Anarchy that will include a great amount of new content. I don't know who's writing all this extra material. I don't know if it comes from the writer's room or if they hire extra staff to create this content. But television is a whole lot more than a weekly half hour episode.

And then, as Scott describes, there's "branding entertainment." Advertisers, trying to adapt to a business model of new media and DVR, are creating content themselves. It's the step beyond product placement. He gives an excellent example of a five minute clip Orbit gum created. I watched it--

And promptly forwarded it to my friend.

1. Because it had Jason Bateman and Will Arnett in it. Automatic go. 2. Because it was funny.

There is so much stuff out on the internet. I believe that, if you're going to put content on the internet, the best way to get it seen is to affiliate it with an already established brand [which is why television based extra content is successful] or get it to go viral. And here's the honest truth--drama doesn't go viral. 

I've wanted to be one of the 2.6 million people trying to take advantage of the "democratic" nature of the internet. I've thought about developing a web series. Making another short. But I always run into the problem that whatever I brainstorm--it's drama. And comedy rules internet success.

Shawna at Shouting into the Wind is about to plunge into web series, and Scott Meyer at Go Into the Story recently wrote an update about web series. Internet content is going to be increasingly important to writers. 


Also, this my new favourite band, Mumford & Sons, an English folk band. But don't let that deter you--they're awesome. Check out their songs. Collect 'em all.

Laps and Short Cuts.

Yesterday after school, a whole gaggle of elementary ed kids came over to the park next door to my apartment for soccer practice. Though somewhat noisy, I appreciate these kids a whole lot more than the teenagers who come loiter in our parking lot and who never say anything distinguishable but manage to shout at each other for forty-five minutes straight. Anyway. I was in the kitchen getting something to drink, and I glanced over at the park. I immediately felt a surge of sympathy because these super cute mini soccer players were in the middle of running laps [being a slow, asthmatic runner myself, I think those laps contributed to my eventual renouncing of involvement in all sports]. Except, as I watched, these kids started cutting corners. Really blatantly too. Running in front of the goal instead of behind, making the field an oval, all sorts of not so sneaky tricks.

This reminded me of my writing life and how I've stopped trying to get out of laps.

See, I hate prewriting. It feels very inorganic to me. And it's boring. And, it sounds like a waste of time. Isn't it fun when you dedicate a couple of hours to writing and all you end up with are pages like this--


I feel like I'm always prewriting or outlining or restructuring. Not writing. Even HW Guy once said, "Wow, it sounds like you prewrite a lot." I don't. I hate it. I think I just end up doing it more slowly than everyone else, so I'm doing the same [or less] amount of than everyone else but it just takes me longer.

Here's the thing, though, the truth that I'm trying to swallow--it works. When I wrote my first screenplay, I had a page long summary scrawled out on yellow legal pad paper and that was it. I flew through that first draft. And I still adore that story. You should never take your first screenwriting experience as the rule for the rest of your writing life. I think that very rarely will any other script flow with the intensity and ease and life that you're first screenplay does. The rest of the time, greater degrees of planning should be involved to help you get through a first draft, let alone make it something readable and enjoyable.

Now that I'm working on a new TV pilot [tentatively and terribly named Places], structure is aggressively important, more so than in a feature. How many acts do you have? How much screen time does each story line get within an act? How are you going to structure the story so that each act ends on a climatic note? And then, you start getting nit-picky. What's the best way to introduce all the characters? Is this the best setting for this scene? Will this conflict play out too on the nose? What's the overarching theme and how does it play into each of the story lines?

It's not a lot of fun. When I heard Aaron Sorkin speak, this was the time he referred to as being full of pacing and wall climbing. But I'd rather struggle with questions here instead of in the draft. If I'm stuck on an outline, how much more lost would I be in the script? I feel like I saved myself a lot of work not only in the first draft but also in the rewriting stages. I worked structure, pacing, and plotting issues out in my outline instead of my script, draft 17. I even refined character relationships and nailed down something resembling a theme.

I still don't enjoy prewriting. I still try to move on as soon as possible. But I also try to pace myself. If an idea can't translate into an outline, how is it going to translate into a script? But a story ain't a screenplay until there are words on the page.

Countdown and Celebration.

Ok, I know I've been talking television all week, and we're about to start the most anticipated night of premieres yet [good thoughts tonight to the inventors of the DVR. Do you remember taping shows on VHS? I DO!]. But I think it's fitting, since it's all about television this week, to tell y'all that I've finally got a piece showcase ready. My hour long TV pilot will be going out to dedicated readers as of tonight. This is the first time that I've shown a piece that I am not workshopping. This is the first piece that I've felt is solid enough for some serious feedback. It'll probably get ripped to shreds, but I am ok with that.

So I can, with pride, reassure my devoted parents that I really AM--not just saying that I am--getting writing done while I'm not working. I know you believe me anyway. But now I've got the pages to prove it.

Change of season.

Let's talk about TELEVISION!

I'm more excited about the new season this fall than I usually am. Maybe it's because I've been learning more about television writing and have been doing a better job of virtually stalking showrunners. That's what my secret Twitter account is for.

Most shows are premiering this week. Here are some that I'm excited for this season--

SUNDAYS:


8:00PM Boardwalk Empire - Unfortunately, I don't get HBO, so I have to be excited but frustrated about this one. Who has HBO that wants to invite me over to watch this? Do you also have Showtime?

MONDAYS:
8:00PM Chuck - Maybe. I DVRed it. I've heard good things about it, but we're already several seasons in. Do I have the stamina to go back and watch all those old episodes? To me I think it's only worth it if I can get a spec out of it.

9:00PM The Event - I want to want to want to want to like this. It feels a lot like Flashforward though, which didn't quite make it. I think it, like Flashforward, lacked some of the character development that made Lost stand out. I will continue to give it chances, but if it doesn't pick up more, I'm probably not going to stick through the season.


10:00PM Castle - I've never watched Castle before, but this is only its third season so I can jump in pretty easily. I enjoyed last night's premiere, and it has become obvious to me that if I want to get anywhere near the Bones' writers room [which, it's probably too late in the series for that] I need to write a Castle script. Staff writers can't read specs of their own show for legal reasons, so you have to find shows that are in similar veins to spec.

TUESDAYS:
8:00PM Glee - I just don't know about Glee. My flatmate is crazy about it, and I think it's funny enough, but I just saw on IMDB that Gwyneth Paltrow is negotiating for a guest role as a substitute teacher and - wait for it - a love interest for Mr. Shu. Seriously, this guy has more love interests than Hugh Hefner. It's a tired plot line, and it just doesn't make him look good -- move on!

8:00PM The Good Wife - Amanda the Aspiring Writer said this is a good show to spec this year. I'm going to check it out, see if I like it enough to spec, and then go from there. It's nice to have a show so focused on a woman trying to figure out her career and familial identity. I know little about it, but I'm hoping it's good.


10:00PM Detroit 1-8-7 - The only straight up cop procedural that I will be watching. There is an overabundance this year of police and medical procedurals, and I am beyond sick of it. I almost made a list of all of them, but then I decided not to waste my life. But I am excited about Detroit 187. I think it fills a niche the original Law & Order is leaving, while bringing something different to the table. And it's shot here in Detroit, so I am really rooting for it to succeed. Also I want to work on it, so it needs to keep going.

WEDNESDAYS:


8:0oPM Undercovers - I loved Alias. And I love JJ Abrams. I love pretending that I can still be a spy with a quick career change. So I will be pulling for this show with tooth and nail. Here's the thing - I compare all spy shows to Alias, and it had one kick-a pilot. So if Undercovers supplies anything less than superb fare, I'm afraid I'll be disappointed from the outset.

10:00PM Top Chef: Just Desserts - It's Top Chef. But just about desserts. Duh.

THURSDAYS:
[Oh Thursdays. Why oh why can't we all just agree to spread out Thursday's schedule a little? It would be oh so nice.]


8:00PM BONES - I love Bones. It's so great. And I'm actually excited about the regression in Brennan and Booth's relationship. I always liked it best when she was awkward and their love was communicated so subtly because they couldn't express themselves. I have good feelings for this season. My one concern is that it's gotten a little silly and gimmicky recently. For instance, I heard they're diving into the Jersey guido subculture this season. Hm. Still my favourite show, and my flatmate consented to watch all the seasons with me from the beginning because she's never seen it.

8:00PM Community - One of the best written half hours of comedy on television today. If you don't already watch Community, you need to have started yesterday. Also excited about the switch up from Spanish class to Anthropology class with Professor Betty White!

8:30PM 30 Rock - Last season Liz Lemon met a dreamboat pilot...
"What are you, a doorman?"
"Yes, I'm a doorman -- to the SKY."
Played by Matt Damon. I would like to see more of these two together. Especially since I'm pretty sure I am Liz Lemon.

9:00PM The Office - This is Steve Carell's last season. Guys, I love The Office, but they should have known to end it with Pam and Jim's wedding. Let's hope that they take the hint when Micheal Scott leaves Dunder Mifflin.


10:30PM The League - This show is funny. Also, I'm taking notes from Jenny about how to be a cool wife. Thanks, show, for depicting a cool wife instead of a nagging self absorbed train wreck of a woman.

I'm sure there are a couple more shows that I think I'm forgetting, but this is enough to start off with, right? To me, this is a daunting amount of television, ridiculous really, and I'm secretly hoping I don't like most of the new shows so I can cut them out. Thursdays are pretty wiped out, though.

But the more I've been thinking about my eventual move to LA, the more I've been imaging a life in television writing. And while I hear various advice on whether you should focus on pilots or specs, I basically want to have as many scripts as I can when I move out there. I want to have a freakin arsenal of brad-bound paperweights.

I want to win an Emmy.

And that's how I justify it.

Drafts and Dialog

My WIP sidebar is outdated. Two of those scripts have been put to back burner, and "Keys to the Garden" draft 3 is complete. As for my TV scripts, I'm clearly no longer considering "Dollhouse" to spec. For those TV writers out there, I asked Amanda the Aspiring Writer what shows would be good to spec this season, and she tweeted back Modern Family, Big Bang Theory, The Good Wife, and The Vampire Diaries.

Yes I did say tweeted. No I don't want to talk about it. I hate Twitter.

I've been reading Richard Walter's "Essentials of Screenwriting," and I just finished a chapter on dialogue. Besides going through a list of practical do's and don't [Do economize. Don't use ellpises unnecessarily], one thing really stuck out to me. Walter promotes constant dischord. He says, "Don't let anybody agree with anybody else. As soon as there is agreement there is boredom." He's not advocating incessant screaming, tantrums, or cringe-worthy shouting matches. But as long as the characters oppose each other, there is conflict, which is the heart of drama and a surefire way to keep your readers/viewers interested. "Let each line challenge the next," Walter encourages. It's also an effective way of making sure you know what each character wants in every scene. I mean, aren't we all just trying to get what we want from everyone else anyway?

I used to think that I was good with dialogue. I used to think I could make it sound very realistic [in opposition to how this blog feels to me right now]. But Walter challenges my thinking -- "real speech is available free of charge in the streets. Dialogue, on the other hand, is worth waiting in line for. It needs to be special. Unless it writhes and wriggles, glows and glistens, it is unworthy of any audience."

You know how when you have an important, emotionally charged conversation with someone, and usually all you can manage to get out is a stutter and a weak defensive? But how, five hours after the fact, you have the most perfectly constructed, flawless, scintillating argument, with a turn of phrase that would have shut that sucker down? That's what dialog needs to be. It's not the brain freezed watered down fragments we say in real life. It's the mulled and spiced and sharply aged comebacks we only imagined we could have said.. And if it takes five hours to come up with that kind of dialog, it's ok. We've got the time.

Snow day

It started snowing yesterday morning and kept on for 36 hours straight. Crazy amounts of snow. I'm starting to think about maybe considering not all that the weathermen say to be completely bogus.

If it's going to snow like this, it should be socially acceptable to play Christmas music.

Over the last couple days I've finished notecarding Keys to the Garden and the first half of my TV pilot and I've tinkered with my rom com idea, to no great gains. I really need to do some research for the rom com, but I'll admit, the thought of checking out half a dozen books from the library about men and dysfunctional relationships intimidates me.

I've also been majorly productive by watching 30 Rock. I've watched some of the recent episodes on Hulu, but thanks to the beauty of Netflix, I can start back at the beginning. I've watched the first four or five episodes, and they are hil-aaaar-i-ous. And honestly, I swear I'm not making this up just to justify my waste of my life by watching TV, I have been learning a lot about comedy from 30 Rock.

Ms. Fey, if you have a minute, I have an idea for a film that I think you would loooove. Mr. Baldwin, if you have a minute, I'd just like to bask in your presence.

For instance, in 1x02, The Aftermath, Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) starts off with one problem. In her attempt to fix her one small problem, she causes a big problem. In her attempt to fix her big problem, she causes an even bigger problem. One, that's an incredibly smart model to use for rising conflict in general, and two, it's wonderfully funny, especially when Lemon's gone through this whole song and dance and you think she's finally smoothed things over - only to find out she's just got herself into a worse mess than before.

And then in 1x04, Jack the Writer, there is a small but brilliant moment. Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) comes into the writer's room to monitor their efficiency. And of course he says to act like he's not there, and of course we expect him to be anything but inconspicuous. However, I was expecting him to be difficult and demanding, when actually all his interruptions stemmed from him getting too excited and involved in the creative process. (Ok, clearly I was not paying enough attention to the title of the episode here.) A great example of expectation reversal. I was expecting the story to go one way, and instead it took the opposite route.

You may not have realized comedy is so contrived. It's actually "easy" to study, analyze, and deconstruct the structure of a joke and learn how to build your own. Thank goodness it is, for those of us who need to be book funny.

Poor Taste

I'm in Florida for a few days, relaxing on vaca (it's so hip to say "vaca") and visiting family. I've found my place in my family. I make humorous though mildly inappropriate jokes, like telling my grandma - in front of my grandpa - that moving to independent living will give her a chance to move in with her boyfriend. Or that my grandpa should start a boys' night with poker and cigars and gambling. (It doesn't take much to be mildly inappropriate with my family.)

Amanda the Aspiring Writer has a link to the WB Workshop winners. I was thinking back on my experience with the WB Workshop, and I realized that I never got a rejection letter. Maybe I did something wrong with my application, though I'm not sure what. I think my Bones script that I sent in had a lot of potential. I'd like to rework it, but I've heard that Bones scripts are getting stale. I'll ruminate on it. I've been ruminating on my rom com as well. Lots of ruminating in this writing job.

Also, my all-time favourite TV character? I'd probably have to go with the character that's made me sound much more intellectual and well read than I actually am. Definitely Wishbone.

I like car-dancing to Sean Kingston's "Replay"

Today was my first day at the day job. I'm working as a teacher's aide for a second grade classroom. It's crazy and a little overwhelming, but I think I'm going to like it. Everyone I've met so far has been really great. It reminds me of camp in a lot of ways. Our children line up in classrooms before school, once we're inside we say the pledge and sing a patriotic song, and the teacher raised her hand for quiet. It made a good first impression on me.

I had three different Michigan experiences today. The first (and I think the most awesome) was when I saw one of the other second graders (not in my class, sadly) with Michigan 'M' face tattoos on both her cheeks. She is being well trained. The second was a University of Michigan decal on a car. And the third was when I was at Starbucks and I inadvertently saw the wallet of the guy I was behind of in line. He had a Michigan student ID card. (So of course I asked him if he was an alumni and then had to awkwardly defend any assumptions that I was a creeper because I was looking at his wallet.)

Finished Act III of the pilot rewrite. I have until Friday to write Act IV (which requires the most actual rewriting, of course), I'll take a day or two to make minor alterations and polish it up, and by next week it should be read-ready. I also implicated myself into a script swap in about a month with a former screenwriting professor. That's great because it'll give me a hard deadline to work towards. But I'm going to have to jump on that as soon as I'm done with this draft of the pilot, and I haven't even decided which script I want to pursue.

Also, I saw a guy bike riding on route 17 tonight. Anyone from Jersey knows how ridiculously insane that is.

Timing is Key.

So a funny thing happened at Starbucks today. Remember that time I said I wanted to be done with the first draft of my TV pilot by October 9th? Yeah, well, I finished it this afternoon. Granted, what I finished I wouldn't even consider a first draft. It's a hot mess of a script. I already have notes about things I need to change, I have events magically transforming halfway through scenes, an entire revelation I majorly botched, and a few more scenes I know I need to work in. It's Draft Zero, basically, so my deadline still stands. But still - I am amazed - it's there, in complete beginning, middle, and end story form.

The endings always sneak up on me. Maybe I get anxious and just shove it all out there or something. Maybe the intensity of being so close to the finish causes me to frenzy and pound it all out. My last acts always seem to be a little on the concise side. However, I like to think of it as just the natural speed that comes with a perfectly prepared ending. The reason the ending takes so little time to write is because I set it up so perfectly.

Yeah right.

Anyway, I'm jumping right into getting it into a presentable first draft. Something I can show my friends (I have been carefully collecting favors the past couple of months...) so they can tear it apart. And I can rewrite it again. And again. And again.

On a related note, I've had a lot of time to think recently (because, you know, I'm unemployed - sort of. However, today was the first time I told strangers what I anticipate doing. They seemed much more impressed than whenever I've told people that I am practicing my craft in order to be a successful writer. Nobody ever seems impressed by that. My prospective job, however, involves me working with children, which I think gives me automatic brownie points with new acquaintances). There are two things I think about constantly - my past two years at Michigan and my future after this year in Jersey. I could probably be thinking about more productive things, I know. Oh well.

Anyway, I was thinking about where I might potentially want to go after my time in Jersey is done, and I happened upon this interview with Ehren Kruger. It's really interesting and long and I greatly anticipate reading the other two interviews on the site, but something about what he said got me started thinking about how I've been sort of planning a couple years' buffer in between me and LA so I can get a couple scripts up to par. Two things came to mind:

1. I should have set time limits for how long drafts should take. I should say, "Alright, I'm starting a new spec script, I'm going to give myself three months from typing FADE IN to FADE OUT on the first draft." After that, I can put the project away for a little while and work on something else, then pull it out again and give myself X months to do the rewrite. Being out of school and out of screenwriting classes means that I have to learn how to work with self imposed deadlines. And they're not all that difficult to keep up with (as in the case with both Current Draft and TV pilot this past week). The past couple days I've been trying to write at least five pages when I sit down. If I can keep that up and make sure I sit my butt down every day, I can get a 120 page script written in a month.

2. If I can be that productive, if I can set and maintain those sort of goals for myself, am I really going to need two or three years before I have enough "best of Amy" material to take with me to LA? When does this go from being smart about perfecting my craft to being scared and not taking any risks? And this should be risky, right? If I didn't want any risks, I should have been an accountant or something. Though that would have meant many risks for my clients.

In the end, there are going to be a lot of factors that go into my move away from Jersey. But I figure the quicker I move out to LA the quicker I sell my scripts and become the hottest female screenwriter since Diablo Cody and the quicker I make a ton and a half of money and can therefore move out of LA and travel the world like I want to (hahaha - I'm joking, you guys know that right? I anticipate many years of starving in LA. Just that. A sale might be nice. Maybe a conversation at some point with someone in the industry). Regardless of what happens next, I'm not going to let a lack of preparation on my part narrow my choices in any way.

I've been writing a lot

Just not here.

A few days ago I was going to announce my intentions to the world (ie, my dad and two friends) that I was going to have the first act of Current Draft finished by October 4th (at first I typed "first draft." That will not be happening. I will not finish an entire screenplay in two weeks. I'm glad I caught that typo.). ... Buuuut, I've finished the first act, more or less. It's very rough, but it's there, and I feel pretty good about it. I think I might clean it up and send it to my creative genius life partner to see what she thinks. Sometimes I feel like she's the brain and I'm the monkey who sits at the keyboard and pounds on the keys until something readable comes out. What're the odds for that again?

I'm also working on a new creative project, the details of which I can't discuss here.

I basically said that just so you would be burning to know.

Still not talking about it.

I think the project I really want to knuckle down on (because that does seem to be my problem half the time. Which one of my gazillion unfinished projects would I like to work on?) is my TV pilot. I was struggling for a while. The next scene wasn't playing out right. And I think I realized that the problem was 1. bad plotting on my part and 2. the characters wouldn't have done what I was trying to convince them to do. Basically this realization came about while I was thinking about how to write the trouble scene and realizing that I wouldn't approach the problem like I was trying to write it, so why would my characters? A little replotting and restructuring, and I think I've got a workable beat sheet. I took the 15 pages I had written, modified, rearranged, and embellished, and I'm halfway through Act II now, feeling good about being able to write the next scenes. Sometimes the answer to a problem scene isn't approaching the scene a new way. Sometimes it's writing a completely new scene. And I was discussing the premise with my family, and they pointed out an entirely new aspect to the world that opens up wonderful possibilities. Season two? I'm thinking yes. So the goal here is to have my first draft of the TV pilot done by October 9th. I have a wedding the next day, which seems like a good reward (a reward that's completely unrelated to my writing and also predetermined before my writing goals, but a reward none the less).

Also, I've been reading Alex Epstein's "Crafting TV Writing: Thinking Inside the Box." I'm really enjoying it, and I think it's positive reinforcement for principles I've learned throughout university and writing on my own, as well as some new ways to look at the craft.

Basically, things are going pretty good over here with the projects. I'm in taking a lot of caffeine and outputting a lot of pages. But someday, it would be nice to get paid to do this.

Welcome to the Real World (sorta)

So, summer's over.

I feel like there's some over wrought blog post I should write about all the crazy summer shenanigans, but really the only stories I have are ones that would only interest those people who care about me enough to feign concern over my slightly paranoid but normally benign doctor stories. (I did have one mildly death defying accident this summer, but I need well diagrammed photos to give the story justice.)

Now that I'm supposed to be getting... settled, it's time to do responsible things like figure out how to start payments on my student loans, procure employment, go to the eye doctor (maybe I, as a grown up, should stop calling it the eye doctor and instead use the official title. Which is...), and - most importantly of course - start to write!

Before I left for camp I finished my "Bones" spec and sent it off the the ABC-Disney fellowship. I would just be thrilled to get past the first round, of course, and I don't have particularly high expectations for that, but sometimes you just have to go for it. But since then, for the past three months, I've barely even picked up a pen. I want to get a lot of writing done in the next six months, and I know it's going to be a push to get it done. I'm not particularly well self disciplined in the best of circumstances. But I have three goals for the next six months:

1. Rewrite "Keys to the Garden." This script is my most recent one, my best one, and the first one I felt completely sure had the potential to be a solid, readable script. I'm going to be reasonable and just shoot for one complete rewrite, but the closer I get to business ready the better.

2. Complete another TV script. I'll either write another spec (here I'm at a disadvantage due to the fact that I actually don't watch that much TV. I'm trying to correct that, but also practicing good time management by watching those shows that are only one or two seasons in.) or continue work on my pilot. Which I completely forgot about all summer until tonight when I was looking through my computer for a different script.

3. Figure out what my second business ready script is going to be and start on it. I know I want "Keys," but I've heard it said you should have two scripts ready by the time you move out to LA. I'm debating between picking one of my earlier scripts, all of which need substantial, near page one rewrites, or going with one of the ideas percolating in the back of my mind. In either case, I want to have all the prewriting I feel necessary done by the end of six months. Of course, if it's month 5.5 when I get to this script, my prewriting needs may be... minimal.

Those are the goals. I've got something to focus on, specifics to be ruminating on and thoughts to be taking notes on and hopefully stories to be writing. Putting goals down in writing helps me feel more responsible. I've stood up on my little virtual soapbox and made my statement in front of all of you. And you could be the two people who haven't forgotten about this little inactive blog over the summer. Or it could be the millions and millions of people I know are lurking out there! (Hehe.)

Schrodinger's cat.

Either way, in the end, I'll have to answer to myself, and that's the person who all this really matters to anyway.

Can't be true

I feel like this is a trick.

I'm about halfway through the rough draft of my Bones spec script. I printed out the ABC fellowship application today, mildly wondering how one goes about getting things notarized and being annoyed that we have to submit a resume. I have until Monday to get this thing presentable, notarized, and in the mail. I am only halfway done with my script.

Five days.

And technically, we shouldn't even count Monday, because all I have time to do that day is notarize it and drop it in the mail.

So, four days. Full of wedding activities, packing, and general procrastinating.

And this is where the tricky parts comes in -- I actually feel like I'm doing good work. And it's not just my deluded sense of entitlement that I usually get from finishing a script, because I haven't finished yet. I'm great at being aware of my problems as I write. I usually secretly know that it's not as good as I dream it is. And I am painfully aware of the problems I do have in my script. Some things don't make logical sense yet. I have to do scientific research to replace all the "X"s and "Y"s I have. I definitely don't have enough time to rewrite. And I'm definitely positive this script isn't going to get past the first round of any competition (well, I secretly hope, but I must maintain some amateur humility).

It may not be a winner. I'm well aware of my odds. But I do feel good about this script. Not only because I feel like I'm hitting the nail on the head. But I can tell how much I've progressed, how much I've learned, how my writing has improved so much over the past few years. A year ago I could not have written as well as I do now (well being all relative, mind you).

And to know that, yes, I may not be the best yet, not even close to the best, not even in sight of those who are trailing behind the best, but I'm darn well closer than I was, is enough to keep me pushing to catch up.

A Plea

Dear Staff Writers,

I love your show. But. I hate when you ruin my halfway finished spec by already having used my device or my plot point or my story base. It happened for a fourth time. FOUR TIMES. Geez. This time, you destroyed my entire B story with just a simple twist to a subplot. Pretty much obliterated it.

But... I can't really be mad. Because you did it with such skill.

Why do you have to be such geniuses?

Sincerely pandering to you,
Amy

In which Amy spills about her TV writing projects --

TV writing is difficult.

I started with my spec script.

Not the actual writing of it. The research. The watching of episode after episode after episode. The reading of How-To books. The episode break downs (which I'm infinitely proud of. Our professors in screenwriting used to challenge us to do movie break downs. Heck no am I ever doing a break down of something 90 minutes or longer).

The thing with my spec script was I kept having to come up with a different idea. I had a great story. I was excited about it and felt it fit the show well and was fairly sure I could execute it well. Then I was skimming episode summaries of seasons I had yet to see - and found a nearly matching logline. I have yet to see the episode - it could play out completely differently - but why bother? I was ruminating on a second idea when that one was also blown out of the water by another episode.

But, dear readers, third time's the charm. Finally I had an excellent medical premise for the script. The story aspect needed some work. It still does. I'm hammering out my outline. I have never felt like the outline was as important as I do now right now for this spec. Maybe it's because I made those episode breakdowns. Maybe it's because I saw how tightly structured the episodes. It's tough, finding the ultimate balance between being new and inventive and outstanding and demonstrating that I know the structure and story and tone of the show. I have still not actually started writing the episode, which is bad news since I want to have it finished before the end of the month.

And then there's the pilot.

Oh the pilot. The pilot that I had no real intentions of writing because I had no real ideas for it. But I had an idea. And I sat down the other day. And I wrote. And I wrote seven pages in one day, which is more than I've written in one sitting since the last time I had a deadline. No outline. Vague understanding of what I wanted to accomplish in the episode. Now I'm on page 15 or something, and I'm quite happy with it, especially as a first ditch effort at a pilot.

The paranoia that's setting in (there's always paranoia, you know), is that what I find interesting and engaging is bo-o-or-ing. It constantly gets rammed into writers that audiences are abnormally advanced when it comes to... being an audience. They've seen countless stories, they know the plot twists, they're looking for the red herrings. It's your job as a writer to stay ahead of them. It's not an easy race.

But right now, I'm just looking forward to the challenge of finishing these scripts.

I've picked up a hobby

TV writing.

I'm sure there are TV writers and would-be TV writers all over the world who would cringe to hear someone call their craft a hobby. It's not, and I don't really think it is. There are a lot of aspects I admire about TV writing, but really it was something that I considered out of my range until recently.

I was going on and on about one of my favourite shows recently, and friend A. - who wants to be a TV writer - turned to me and said, "Why don't you spec it?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I don't know how to write for TV."

But that thought + needing a writing change + summer deadlines for a few TV writing contests I'll never win anytime soon + the career wisdom of having decent TV specs + unending empty hours here at home during which I watch way more TV than typical = me teaching myself TV writing.

I haven't actually done any of the writing part of TV writing yet, so maybe this post is a little premature. But I'm doing the groundwork (this could be one of the few times I've ever gone out of my way to learn something not required for me academically!). I'm reading Alex Epstein's Crafty TV Writing, breaking down episodes while I watch them, searching out TV scripts to read, doing preliminary research for my spec, and watching lots and lots of TV. I'm not expecting miracles, of course. I'm not going to turn out to be a brilliant TV writing genius. But it's fun learning.

Even so, my golden years of TV were my childhood years. Wishbone, Bill Nye, Square One, Fraggle Rock, the Gummi Bears, and that gnome one. (Kids' TV has gone waaaay down since the 90s.) It might seem weird that I'm not this huge TV person who has her shows she watches every night of the week. It's not really TV I love, and some people in these creative careers might find that as a reason why I shouldn't pursue TV writing - sometimes people can get incredibly defensive about their fields. To which I would reply, it's not TV I love, but storytelling. I like to think that, as a writer, my craft is not the craft of television or fiction or even cinema. Instead I would prefer to learn the trade of storytelling. After all, every time we crack a novel or purchase our movie ticket or flip on the TV, aren't we all just pursuing a good story?