Legalism of Love?

so i'm reading this book "what's so amazing about grace?" by philip yancy, and i'm really enjoying it. i'm learning a lot and thinking about a lot and doing some refocusing (or trying to) etc. etc. etc. so throughout the whole book he talks about grace (obviously), and he brings up the question 'why be good if i know God will forgive me?" which is a reasonable question if you want to ask it. he went on to say that when we understand God's grace and love, we will be "good" in response to that.

'if we truly grasped the wonder of God's love for us, the devious question that prompted romans 6 and 7 - what can i get away with - would never even occur to us. we would spend our days trying to fathom, not exploit, God's grace.'

ok, that makes sense. i'm starting to worry about a cycle, though. because of God's grace, we don't need to prove ourselves or earn His love or follow the rules or anything. there's nothing we can do to gain His love and acceptance. so in one sense, we are free from rules. but when we realize this, we will supposedly start obeying Him voluntarily. how long will it be before we lose focus again, before we become intent on proving our love for God, before faith becomes a religion of works again? i'm trying to love people the best i can, because that's what God wants. your actions become tied to God's grace. seems to me like there are different motives, but we come again to the same problem.

i suppose it comes from pursing a life of love for God and people, which doesn't at all sound dangerous. why am i so disconcerted then?

Wow. wow wow wow wow.

I never thought that looking into the past would help with my future. Don't they say you're not supposed to look back? Did they ever try?

I'm understanding things again. Things are falling into place. I'm nervous; this... "feeling" I have is faint, I'm almost afraid to label it. It's almost too underdeveloped to understand yet. Is it hope again, after I tried so hard to kill it? Is it happiness, that I thought was too unattainable? Is it just simply joy, a choice that with its determination is irreverent to pain?

I don't know, but I like it!

Thank God for Grace

Recently, I've been learning about God's 'tough love.' Tough love is, in itself, a familiar concept; most people know it through authourity figures, parents, grandparents, teachers, etc. A couple of months ago I went on a weekend trip to desolate and beautiful Norfolk and got tough love straight through my soul. Thank God. With me on the trip I had brought C. S. Lewis's book, The Problem of Pain. The man is brilliant, and this book is no exception. It explains divine love in so many beautiful aspects, even the harsh ones, that makes the reader grateful for God's unsparring love.

In one sense, it makes tough love endurable. But sometimes, only just.

Today I picked up a copy of Yancey's "What's so Amazing about Grace?" from my host family's spare bedroom. I heard about it a while ago and have been curious about it, though I'm not in general a big fan of common man theology books. It's pretty great. I've always been a big fan of love, and I'm learning how to love people better (slowly), but sometimes I forget about grace. Truly, love and grace are inexorable. Grace flows from love, and love would not be complete without grace. They are perfect expressions of each other. And suddenly, there's the way to be really happy in awful times. Embracing grace in times of hardship. Because I am only human, I can only *accept* purifying love. With grace I can be glad in it. Because in one sense, it doesn't really matter than. It doesn't matter if it sucks or I feel like I'm falling apart or I have no idea what my future will be like. Everything is forgiven, I'm accepted, and I have divine love that not only cleanses but also embraces. And all this for nothing I've done - *in spite* of what I've done. Could life get any better? I submit that it could not!