Theories and the Reality.

I hate the way people in Jersey drive. It's not just the massive amount of people on the road. There's zero consideration for anyone else. Cutting people off and braking, drifting over from an exit only lane without a turn signal, ridiculously bright lights on fancy cars. I have mixed feelings about driving as it is, and being in Jersey doesn't highlight the good qualities.

Tomorrow I pack it up and head back to Michigan. Another ten hour drive. I don't think I anticipated doing this so much. Next time I'm flying.

I try to go over to see my niece and nephew as often as I can. I have to say, I think I want a big family, but trying to manage a toddler and a newborn with both parents at home seems like a challenge. The difficult thing, my sister explained to me, is that at this stage, both of your children need all of your attention all of the time. Perhaps the only time my sister can get to herself is if both children manage to nap at the same time.

I've mentioned to her before about how I plan to continue writing when I have a family, and her response was, "Don't overestimate the free time you'll have." And even if I do get the time--will I have the energy? Last year working at a school, I had zero energy for writing after wrangling 23 2nd graders all day long.

I know there are ways to manage, schedules you can get into and routines you can form that will get you at least a few minutes a day to write when you're also raising a family. But other times I wonder if I'm selfless enough to be able to make that compromise. While a family is something I theoretically think I want, I've been mostly on my own for the last five years, pursuing something I know I want.

For now I'll enjoy being an aunt, spoiling my niece and nephew, babysitting for a few hours, and then returning them to their parents at the end of the day.