Can't be true

I feel like this is a trick.

I'm about halfway through the rough draft of my Bones spec script. I printed out the ABC fellowship application today, mildly wondering how one goes about getting things notarized and being annoyed that we have to submit a resume. I have until Monday to get this thing presentable, notarized, and in the mail. I am only halfway done with my script.

Five days.

And technically, we shouldn't even count Monday, because all I have time to do that day is notarize it and drop it in the mail.

So, four days. Full of wedding activities, packing, and general procrastinating.

And this is where the tricky parts comes in -- I actually feel like I'm doing good work. And it's not just my deluded sense of entitlement that I usually get from finishing a script, because I haven't finished yet. I'm great at being aware of my problems as I write. I usually secretly know that it's not as good as I dream it is. And I am painfully aware of the problems I do have in my script. Some things don't make logical sense yet. I have to do scientific research to replace all the "X"s and "Y"s I have. I definitely don't have enough time to rewrite. And I'm definitely positive this script isn't going to get past the first round of any competition (well, I secretly hope, but I must maintain some amateur humility).

It may not be a winner. I'm well aware of my odds. But I do feel good about this script. Not only because I feel like I'm hitting the nail on the head. But I can tell how much I've progressed, how much I've learned, how my writing has improved so much over the past few years. A year ago I could not have written as well as I do now (well being all relative, mind you).

And to know that, yes, I may not be the best yet, not even close to the best, not even in sight of those who are trailing behind the best, but I'm darn well closer than I was, is enough to keep me pushing to catch up.