Acta non verba

I love my desk.

It's about to get packed up, but the collection of things on it is - well, so amazing. I'm finally using the bud vase I painted in Chicago last year to hold two beautiful pink roses. My worn copy of the Princess Bride, recently returned from another convent, is sitting onto of my hardcopy of my script from screenwriting class. On the cork board leaning against the back of my desk is a sheet of those inch wide stickers with your face on them of me and my best friend up here when we were at a pinball place. 8 mm film hangs from my pencil holder. And I have pictures of the people who are my life are plastered all around.

I'm done with school. It's over. How quickly the year went by. I might wax reminiscent, but another time.

We edited today (I feel like that's a really annoying word to say in real life: "edited." It's because there are three "d/t" sounds in it) and got a rough cut of "Join This Group?" done. We actually didn't watch it all the way through, but the audio - which was what I was concerned about - came out ok. I didn't realize, though, that some of the facilities start closing soon. I'm recording the voice over with the talent tomorrow (we'll see how I do with the equipment all by myself), and we'll layer that on and work on the fine cut Wednesday. My editor is great - she's so familiar with Final Cut.

I went to a showcase of films made for classes over the past semester. It was really cool seeing what some of the other students have been working on. I especially liked the use of locale in one, and I hope that one day - if I have time - I can just wander around and take pictures and let the creative juices flow. In order to choose between a typical location and a unique and interesting location, I need to know where the cool locations are.

I was eavesdropping in feminist film class the other day and heard another girl talk about how our screenwriting program chair had advised her not to move out to LA yet. Among one of the reasons was that when everyone gets out there, they all write the same stories. You can see that here sometimes, people writing the same stories. We have limited resources and are going through similar life issues, which can make it seem dull in this context. But I think there are a lot of opportunities for unique stories using those same resources. It just takes an extra little digging trying to find them.

I realized the other day that I've only stayed awake for one out of class movie this entire semester. I watched all of Vantage Point - barely, I barely made it through the movie. All others I've fallen asleep during.

My Screnzy script - does not exist. I have the six pages I wrote way back when, and that is all. I may be could do it, if I wasn't working long hours this week, working on "Join This Group?", cramming in those last few memorable hours with friends, and suffering from a complete lack of motivation. I hate being this unbusy. It drains my energy and motivation like nothing else.

But I shouldn't whine. I think I'm just annoyed that all my friends are leaving. Really, as much as I wanted to spend as much time with all of them as possible, I should have left as soon as I was finished. Now instead of one good bye for me I have to say good bye multiple times to multiple people. And one of my closest friends is graduating this year, so ever time I walk through the Diag and the sea of 30,000 folding chairs there, I suffer a mini heartbreak. Sometimes I struggle with the balance between letting go and holding on, between running away and carrying useless torches. But you know what? I'm ok with being sad about the end of the year. Because all it really means is that I love this place and these people so gosh darn much.